The most important thing is to look after your mental health first. Have you put this forward unless he starts to take care of his illness you will leave him. Worth the talk that he is causing you grief for not taking responsibility for it . Some things are out of his control but to self medicate with alcohol is just asking for trouble.

I agree with Max. Take care of yourself. Give your husband an ultimatum. You or his self medicating and non-compliance with psych meds. If he loves you more than the latter he will change and you can help him. Otherwise, do what is best for you and leave. He made his choice. Sounds harsh but it is not fair to you to have to put up with this.

get all the support you can from others and plan wisely... i say if you love him stand by him...but dont set yourself up to live with hell ... your kids are to young for him to be so sick ... try and get counseling for both of you ...
trust that god is on your side and ask him to help you thru this tough time..
also try not to alienate him thru this process ... remember he is only sick not necessarily a bad person...figure out your options and trust your judgment

I have suggested counseling through NAMI but doesnt want any help. My husband has been dealing with this since he was 19yrs old and is 35yrs old. We have been through several hospital and med changes. Its no results he just wont take responsibility for his own mental health. Now he is talking about moving out so he can be left alone...I am worried for his well being. His mother doesnt know what do anymore and she has been with him since day one...

Little I can offer after that but wondered on your own support. Often counselling can help to get you more support with what your dealing with and get better ideas and education on what your husbands dealing with.

thanks ever so much for coming here to ask us for advice ... so sorry for your very hard position ... i cant imagine what you must be going thru and dealing with ... how do you even keep it all together ...
my goodness ... i can only offer my support ... if you need a friend ....
stay in touch if you like ...

No thank you all for your support and words of encourgement. I realized that I can help him if he does not want it. I have to take care of my own well being and our children...

Wish the best for you. Hopefully it will be the reason he gets the help he needs and you can be the family again.

work towards the best case scenario... always leave the door open but make him prove it on his own first ...dont let him break it all up again while you build your own security ...but make sure and tell him that this is what you have to do... for the family

Hi. I don't know if I can be of any help but I'm in a similar situation. I have schizoaffective and so does my boyfriend. Only thing is, I stopped meds in January and I'm doing fine, until recently, now I'm a little depressed because his symptoms are worse. I liked him since last year, but we just started dating in February and I fell in love real fast. Now i'm starting to question that love, am I strong enough to still love him even though he doesn't want to see me right now until his symptoms get better? My boyfriend drinks also, and this upsets me because he starts hearing voices more when he drinks. He can still be around other people with his symptoms, but not me. I feel rejected. I told him I love him unconditionally. I am usually a very patient person, but I'm getting lonely for his love. I'm thinking, maybe I don't have what it takes to love unconditionally anymore. I feel like a terrible person. Sorry to go on so much about myself. I wish I knew how to help you too.

I feel for you. A hard thing you are going through. Follow you instincts
or that little voice inside. I have had this illness, for a vey long time, and have been through some close calls. I am still here. I believe what ever happens, you,and your guy will get through.

From my own experience, helping a person although well intended, somtime is not helping them, in certain situations.Extending their suffering, and your own. I hope this helps.

This is a difficult subject for me. I can understand leaving if he has stopped taking his meds and is self-medicating; he is no longer taking responsibility for his mental health.

However, if he is doing his best to control his disease, I don't know if I agree or disagree. I'm jaded. My ex fiance left me because he couldn't handle my illness and it devastated me.

I guess it all comes down to what is best for you and your children. I wish you well.