Schizophrenia Support Group
Schizophrenia is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental disorder characterized by impairments in the perception of reality and by significant social dysfunction. Untreated schizophrenia is typically characterized by demonstrating disorganized thinking and experiencing delusions or auditory hallucinations.
Hi there,
To what extent do you find your schizophrenia, or, in my case, Schizoaffective Disorder contributes to your spirituality, if you have one?
Since I took up witchcraft (Wicca) i have found that the doorway into the other world that my psychosis gives me to be suddenly a gift and not a hindrance. I think that I am a better witch because I am mentally ill. I thank my Schizophrenia for the visions and voices from the other world that whisper in my ears.
Sometimes it helps when you are seeing voices or visions to contextualize them into a supernatural narrative that makes sense. I know it helps me a lot. Some of the voices I hear are ghosts, some are the alien gods, and all of them wish me well.
I saw a faerie in my bathtub the other morning. It was quite a beautiful mystical spiritual experience. I quite enjoyed it.
Having the supernatural explanation for my Schizoaffective Disorder has helped me to accept it. Does anyone else have a similar experience?
To what extent do you find your schizophrenia, or, in my case, Schizoaffective Disorder contributes to your spirituality, if you have one?
Since I took up witchcraft (Wicca) i have found that the doorway into the other world that my psychosis gives me to be suddenly a gift and not a hindrance. I think that I am a better witch because I am mentally ill. I thank my Schizophrenia for the visions and voices from the other world that whisper in my ears.
Sometimes it helps when you are seeing voices or visions to contextualize them into a supernatural narrative that makes sense. I know it helps me a lot. Some of the voices I hear are ghosts, some are the alien gods, and all of them wish me well.
I saw a faerie in my bathtub the other morning. It was quite a beautiful mystical spiritual experience. I quite enjoyed it.
Having the supernatural explanation for my Schizoaffective Disorder has helped me to accept it. Does anyone else have a similar experience?
There were witch spirits connected to my mind that were teaching me about magic. It became dark. I would get psychic attacked. I sent for the Catholic priest to give me last rights. I was so miserable and really wanted myself back. Anyway, I lived by myself (my mother paid my rent and bills and groceries) during this time and only had spirits as friends. I even had a spirit boyfriend who would visit me each day and take me to his favorite museum, etc. I was so far gone. I would get exorcisms from the white witch who practiced energy medicine on me and visited past lives once per month.
There were also healing spirits in my mind that tried to heal me of my neurosis. They'd go through me and do the things I feared or say things to people that I was afraid of admitting. This helped a lot.
Am happy to say that old friends of mine (a medical doctor and his wife, a filmmaker) intervened and got me to see a neurologist, psychiatrist and psychologist. The neurologist and psychologist were spiritual people and were trying to get me back to normal without meds. I had a dominant spirit in my head that kept the other spirits away and it calmed down a bit. They said that the white witch energy worker was a charlatan. I got a part-time job at an art and dance center with lots of spiritual people. The spirits would take me over while I was working and really seemed to enjoy the job--especially when I had to photograph the dancers at the recital venue. It was very creative. I was struggling to get back to my normal self, but my boundaries were so messed up. Finally, after being haunted by a ghost and being visited by like a hundred spirits within a month (they wanted me to write a cathartic screenplay or play), I left my job and started antipsychotics and went to Church (Roman Catholic).
Am on SSDI now. I have my normal self back and spirits and ghosts no longer highjack my life. I do not practice witchcraft. I have only one imaginary friend who was the only one who did not leave after I started taking the antipsychotic. He says he will go eventually. He is pretty quiet. I moved out of the apartment and into my mom's house where I am so much better off.
I agree that the spirits can get overwhelming at times. Currently I mostly only talk to one, that of my wife, and am occasionally visited by another few intermittently but it is always a special occasion. I have grown to relish these manifestations as they certainly are not going away but I too wonder if I will not become lost in them.
Currently I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment and have the privacy to be as batshit crazy as I need to be which is quite a bit usually. I just broke up with a man I could have married because I was unwilling to move in with him because I knew he would he intolerant of my crazy, nocturnal, Wiccan existence , and I felt preserving that and my independence was better than trying to make a life with him.
I agree that witchcraft should be handled with caution and I am always very carefully with it. It has given me context for the manifestations and helped me to feel better about my illness but I am unwilling to stop taking my antipsychotics and lose myself in the spirit world because that lies madness and institutionalization, which I do not want.
I would say for Schizophrenics who are sensitive to witches or ghosts good antipsychotics are a must. I take Saphris and it keeps the manifestations at a manageable level where I can function in society. i am on SSDI also.
Thank you for sharing your story. It is a cautionary tale not to get too involved in the spirit world.