Schizophrenia Support Group
Schizophrenia is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental disorder characterized by impairments in the perception of reality and by significant social dysfunction. Untreated schizophrenia is typically characterized by demonstrating disorganized thinking and experiencing delusions or auditory hallucinations.
Hello everyone.....
I dont know where to start really, but i have a brother who i love so very much, and has suffered from par. schz for the last 20 years. He lives a fairly isolated life for the most part, in a flat that looks like an aladdins den/ dumping ground /garage etc...(i occasionally go in and 'try' to clean up a little, but he doesnt like me to , as he says the voices get worse for weeks on end when i have been there cleaning :-/
We, his family (sister & parents) are here for him always, we try to let him do his own thing, but i just feel he could be not so 'attacked'?'.
Occasionaly, he seems ok in his head and calm, talking normally about 'normal' things(he is pretty knowledgeable) ,& saying that the voices have gone and hes getting better, the next time i see him he can be very introverted, and saying that the voices have been there 24/7 for the last 20 years and that the meds will never make things better. (he has had many meds changes over the years)
The thing is, in his most lucid moments, although he knows he is ill, he will say that it is black magic doing it to him, and the ghosts of bad people trying to make him bad too...and he has to fight them because he is a'nice' person....he just seems 'tormented' 95% of the time and i hate to see it. He also cant cope with going shopping or out anywhere as he thinks people can hear his thoughts and also the 'voices' talking and saying bad, nasty things about the people he sees,and imaginary arms coming out of his body trying to grab and ?hurt people.
He is mostly so very logical in his explanations, and about everything in fact. He also, seems to hold stuff that went on in the past responsible for what has happened to him...he was WRONGLY accused of rape many years ago ,spent cpl months inside, a dreadful dreadful time for him and my parents, it was shortly after this that i thought i was going mad too (i had tried desperately to help him, and read up on so much info, that i was waiting for myself to hear voices...i was scared to death! i ended up having a bit of a breakdown with 2 young babies to care for... but thats bytheby....
He is very paranoid- nearly all the time i would say, but at the same time does things to draw attention.... wearing wigs to 'disguise' himself for one..... and his life seems so very sad...almost an exsistance. :-( he says the voices stop him from doing things he enjoys, he has no energy, smokes v heavily, drinks alcohol (makes his own wine/beer mostly) His personal hygiene is zero, has a few bad teeth left & needs dentistry badly (as over the years he has removed fillings due to them being ' transmitors' among other things.
I worry sometimes that things willl never change for him, but after seeing some of the things some of you have written on here, i feel there is a little hope :-) i just hope he hasnt left it too late. He at 50 , thinks he is old, past it, nearing the end. He says he smokes etc as he doesnt care if he dies...(not in a 'feel sorry for me' way...just matter of fact) surely, there is something else that can be done for him..... surely he hasnt got to endure the hideous voices for the rest of his life. He has long since come to the conclusion, that he will never have a g/friend/ wife even though before his illness, he was THEMOST handsome of men! I know he feels he did wrong by his g/friends when he was young and in good health, and i think feelings of guilt make his situation worse (not that he was any different to a large majority of young men playing the field, both then AND now!! He does suffer with depression and takes meds for that too. Occasionally, he's just like my 'brother' as i knew him when he was well.....and at these times, it is great, and i can treat him 'normally' but mostly we are treading on eggshells, worried about saying the wrong thing and causing stress etc
I know you cannot generalise the illness as it is so different for all, but surely , by now, there has got to be a drug that can stop the voices without sending you into a stupor and causing tics & twitching? (He has changed/stopped various meds over the years because of these reasons)
Could he have other issues /illnesses do you think? Some of you on here seem so 'normal' (please do not take offence, i hope you understand what i mean) and it cheers me to think that although you are suffering the same illness as my brother, you are able to live good fulfilling lives....which right now seems a million miles away for my brother...i just want to see him happy, and not 'tormented'.... he has suffered too too much...Any advice anyone can give me in helping him would be so greatly appreciated, thank you
ps.. i hope this makes sense, i dont have time to re-read.... And sorry about the essay! xxx
I dont know where to start really, but i have a brother who i love so very much, and has suffered from par. schz for the last 20 years. He lives a fairly isolated life for the most part, in a flat that looks like an aladdins den/ dumping ground /garage etc...(i occasionally go in and 'try' to clean up a little, but he doesnt like me to , as he says the voices get worse for weeks on end when i have been there cleaning :-/
We, his family (sister & parents) are here for him always, we try to let him do his own thing, but i just feel he could be not so 'attacked'?'.
Occasionaly, he seems ok in his head and calm, talking normally about 'normal' things(he is pretty knowledgeable) ,& saying that the voices have gone and hes getting better, the next time i see him he can be very introverted, and saying that the voices have been there 24/7 for the last 20 years and that the meds will never make things better. (he has had many meds changes over the years)
The thing is, in his most lucid moments, although he knows he is ill, he will say that it is black magic doing it to him, and the ghosts of bad people trying to make him bad too...and he has to fight them because he is a'nice' person....he just seems 'tormented' 95% of the time and i hate to see it. He also cant cope with going shopping or out anywhere as he thinks people can hear his thoughts and also the 'voices' talking and saying bad, nasty things about the people he sees,and imaginary arms coming out of his body trying to grab and ?hurt people.
He is mostly so very logical in his explanations, and about everything in fact. He also, seems to hold stuff that went on in the past responsible for what has happened to him...he was WRONGLY accused of rape many years ago ,spent cpl months inside, a dreadful dreadful time for him and my parents, it was shortly after this that i thought i was going mad too (i had tried desperately to help him, and read up on so much info, that i was waiting for myself to hear voices...i was scared to death! i ended up having a bit of a breakdown with 2 young babies to care for... but thats bytheby....
He is very paranoid- nearly all the time i would say, but at the same time does things to draw attention.... wearing wigs to 'disguise' himself for one..... and his life seems so very sad...almost an exsistance. :-( he says the voices stop him from doing things he enjoys, he has no energy, smokes v heavily, drinks alcohol (makes his own wine/beer mostly) His personal hygiene is zero, has a few bad teeth left & needs dentistry badly (as over the years he has removed fillings due to them being ' transmitors' among other things.
I worry sometimes that things willl never change for him, but after seeing some of the things some of you have written on here, i feel there is a little hope :-) i just hope he hasnt left it too late. He at 50 , thinks he is old, past it, nearing the end. He says he smokes etc as he doesnt care if he dies...(not in a 'feel sorry for me' way...just matter of fact) surely, there is something else that can be done for him..... surely he hasnt got to endure the hideous voices for the rest of his life. He has long since come to the conclusion, that he will never have a g/friend/ wife even though before his illness, he was THEMOST handsome of men! I know he feels he did wrong by his g/friends when he was young and in good health, and i think feelings of guilt make his situation worse (not that he was any different to a large majority of young men playing the field, both then AND now!! He does suffer with depression and takes meds for that too. Occasionally, he's just like my 'brother' as i knew him when he was well.....and at these times, it is great, and i can treat him 'normally' but mostly we are treading on eggshells, worried about saying the wrong thing and causing stress etc
I know you cannot generalise the illness as it is so different for all, but surely , by now, there has got to be a drug that can stop the voices without sending you into a stupor and causing tics & twitching? (He has changed/stopped various meds over the years because of these reasons)
Could he have other issues /illnesses do you think? Some of you on here seem so 'normal' (please do not take offence, i hope you understand what i mean) and it cheers me to think that although you are suffering the same illness as my brother, you are able to live good fulfilling lives....which right now seems a million miles away for my brother...i just want to see him happy, and not 'tormented'.... he has suffered too too much...Any advice anyone can give me in helping him would be so greatly appreciated, thank you
ps.. i hope this makes sense, i dont have time to re-read.... And sorry about the essay! xxx
I do worry sometimes that he has spent so many years with ''the voices'' that they have become his way of life. Also, when he sees his psychiatrist, i think he probably tells them he is 'ok' even though he isnt coping very well in case they decide to put him back on some of the older meds he has been on that tend to put him in a stupor.... which i completely understand.
At the same time, i am trying to get him to be completely honest with them about his mental health, so they can do the best for him.
In your opinion and past experience...has it been possible for you to be 'voice-free',?because if it is, i am going to do my best to encourage him to keep trying in the hope he will be given the right meds for him. x
ive already erased to very long explanations ...
basically its the trust factor and the distance we create when we limit our needs to view it as a disaster rather than his on going need to maintain his own sense of quality lifestyle for himself ...
give him credit and emotional acceptance in the fact that he is doing the best he knows how ...
people like him will respond for the need to be cared for if they trust the one who is wanting to help them with moving in the right direction...
spending the time you have to be with him listening and accepting him as his own person will open him up to you ...
and eventually allow him to give you some control in assisting him to face his fears and work towards the little steps that can change the quality of his life
spend some time working on a plan that outlines and prioritizes his issues ...ie visit the dentist ... and all that may be involved if you reach a place of trust where he agrees that he is willing to accept your helping him make changes in the quality of his life
Over the years he has told me many of the strange weird, bizarre things he is told & /or believes.... and i know he trusts me, its just very hard to try and persuade him to keep going back and being truthful with psychiatrist..... as he always says...''theres nothing that will ever get rid of the voices'' And he just continues his existance.
I feel so bad for him....i dont want him to just 'exist', but he (in his own words) feels so hated, and persecuted, and been mentally abused by the voices over the 20 odd years, i fear he has no fight left in him.... i think he spends his whole life trying to keep it together (especially if with people) while battling the voices.
And, Baaad , i am not sure if this is the one he is on at the moment, my memory is horrendous,(among other things lol) but i will find out .... and thank you :-) D. x
one day i realized that i myself was responding to something that was simply echoing my own thoughts ... like a mirror i was being mimicked almost exactly what my emotions would translate into if put in word form.
realizing that it was a part of my inner ego trapped from being able to be seen and heard and understood .. that my own ignorance and response was telling that trapped part that it was not valid and evil .
i finally went about a way to listen instead of denying and rejection that inner ego , that somehow needed to be heard and was trying to fight for control ...
it worked ... and now i have a working relationship with a part of myself that i believe everyone has .
we do not understand it because science and religion have created a wall between the real and imagined ... our rejection based on our fear and lack of knowledge has created a cultural image of the truth that we call evil ...
being kind, and not rejecting . allowing it time to be heard and having an open mind, gave me room to see that i was fighting a deeper part of myself that is very real and very unknown to modern society ...
i am saying that your brother has a condition that when seen from the correct position can become a blessing rather than a struggle ...
my acceptance of my voices ( while not doing what they say to do) gave me a path to understanding that i was creating them to be the victim of my ignorance.
my response to them boxed them up in a cage and only made them cry louder and forced them to become the enemy ... there by creating the whole premise of falsehood which leads to delusional thinking and searching for some logical answer ...
only through being tolerant and listening have i been able to see that they are not evil but good, however repressed and desperate for love and acceptance.
going about this new angle of learning has allowed them to build trust and now we work together,rather than rejection ...
the best answer i have for what it truly is. is that the dead have a place inside the living . and seeing and knowing more than we ourselves do, they have a great need to be heard and recognized as vital to our own choices, that create and form our reality into what we don't know is not reality .
so they fight back against our reality to separate us from it . so as to get leverage to hopefully have a say in what we actually know or don't know . and how it limits us .
If you dont mind me asking, is it schizophrenia you have too? and have you had your illness a long time? D. x
but have been in the past very delusional .
as a bit of hope for you ... i believe we carry a stigma of being mentally ill that is seen by others as a permanent mark on our persons .
however i am proof that we always maintain who we are .even when it seems we are long gone from reality (as i was ) we have the ability to bounce back and be something more like normal ... what im saying is that your brother may have things mixed up as to how things really are . but things can be understood better and clarity can return .
your brother is maintaining an ever changing reality, but doing the best he can given that he has no one to help him understand it all .
your love for him should be something that he is allowed to see and feel and use as a means of hope and encouragement .
and you yourself should know that God knows your heart and will reward you for who you are to him personally ...
i myself, thank you, and acknowledge you as a loving person in your brothers life ... its people like you that allow me to continue to have hope for mankind .
its people like you, who remind me that God still works in all of us in ways that only true humility can see and recognize as being real .
bless your heart forever and please take some credit for being good and worthy of love and thankfulness.
I am so hoping my brother will join this group, i just want him to make some friends....and have someone to talk 'normal' talk to.
I know he is lonely and i think (understandably !) he is hurt that he has lost friends he knew years ago.
He hasn't been used to the internet and is dyslexic, but i'm not going to let that stop him.
I'm feeling so happy and excited at the thought of him joining you all on here, i just know its going to give him hope and, i'm sure, a new, more positive outlook :-)
Thank you, D. x