At least you know you are just hallucinating and not believing what you are seeing as real. Same goes for the paranoia.. you know you are paranoid instead of acting that way without an explaination. As long as you know these things you can tell yourself/ your mind that you are okay and nothing is going to happen. It is when you dont know these are hallucinations and paranoia when it gets sticky. Try and sleep and just wait patiently till your pdoc appt. Be well.

Either way it bothers me that these things are happening I call all of this stuff these names because everything I thought was real is now fake pretty much. So my therapist told me if it doesnt have a face or it doesnt look like a real person or it appears and then disappears then its fake. The man on the stairs is clearly real or he wouldnt be there and the people in my house trying to kill me, Yeah, theyre real too. The person thats in my room at night making me not want to sleep theyre real as well. The government watching me with cameras, computer cams, and cameras in the mirrors and tvs thats real. And that dude outside of my window is real as well. The voices theyre real too because when they say "hey I'm hungry and I want your pizza" and I dont give them the pizza they stab me in the eye with a knife cause I feel it everytime its no coincidence that my eye hurts after they say that. But everything else like the people flashing pass the tv and couches or walking into the living room or in from the garage well I'm not so sure theyre fake but I'm sure since they disappear there is some doubt as to if there is actually someone or not, I can debate that with myself as I do everyday. I know I wont sleep well at all until these people leave my house and my room and from the outside of my window. Until the day comes that they leave me alone I shall clinch to my teddy bear.

Not to be offensive but have you stopped to ask yourself why so many people are trying to get you? What makes you so ultra important than anyone else that all these people are watching you and and spying and plotting against you. What is your reasoning? You know you have an illness. I know your symptoms are bothering you. Mine bother me too. But you are also intelligent enough to reason aren't you? I know this is going to come across as mean but there comes a time, when you realize all you have believed is fake, that you can calm yourself down and take it at that....fake....false...unreal...imaginary...sickness....schizophrenia...and do something to distract yourself instead of dwelling on your hallucinations and indulging them. They have as much power as you give them. Maybe I have just lived with this illness for so many years that I have learned techniques that help with dealing with symptoms that once I couldn't handle. I only hope the same for you one day soon.

I am sorry that you are having such a rough time. I totally know what you mean about feeling paranoid. Is there any way you can see a psychotherapist? That way you can have someone to talk to who can help you deal with the paranoia and some of the things you see and feel.

Best wishes

hi Shanese when you're afraid of the people what do you use for protection? or are you not that paranoid? i always feel like i need to protect myself so im always carrying a knife or a weapon even when i'm in the bed. sometimes i wonder if i'll accidentally cut myself while im asleep.

I have been told by many that this stuff is fake and none of its true but its true enough for me. People have also told me that someday I will be able to just tell the difference or just know its fake period. I am hopeful that this day will come for me but for now I guess I struggle. To tell the truth I dont know what makes me so special sometimes people kill people for no reason or watch people without reason known to the person theyre watching so I dont really know why.

I wish I could see a psychotherapist I already have a regular therapist that I see once a month. But it would be nice to see one, Thanks for the suggestion.

I would carry a knife but I promised my therapist and I'm not allowed to take knifes out of the kitchen since I made plans to murder my family so I cant really take them out of the kitchen

that makes sense shanese. I hope you get to know your illness better and can get to a point where you are not so afraid. I care, I really do. Please know that I dont mean to be mean. I do it out of empathy and sometimes the feeling behind my words gets lost in the written context.

I totally understand what youre saying. I take it as words of wisdom because you are more experienced with the disorder than me. Thank you for your words :)