Hi, I am 22 years old and have had schizophrenia for 2 and a half years. I have two different diagnoses for my schizophrenia. My psycologist has diagnosed it as Disoraganized Schizophrenia while my psychiatric registered nurse practitioner and original psychiatrist have diagnosed it as Paranoid Schizophrenia. I also have been diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Erotomanic Delusional Disorder. I want to tell my story about schizophrenia. I am feeling anxious and scared to tell my story. I do not if other members will understand but I vey much hope they will. My story begins with me first showing signs of schizophrenia in Fall,2008. I was taken out of Art College because of my illnesses. My story begins with a delusion about a famous baseball player who is a starting pitcher and the local major league baseball team he plays for. I prefer to keep his name and the teams name private. The delusion was that I had magical powers that could help this pitcher and his team win games by praying and imagining I was holding this pitcher's left hand as he's holding my right hand and then there's a hallucinatory golden ray of light shining from our hands and that he would strikeout more hitters and help players on his team score hits and runs. Basically, help the team win games. I have a hallucination about seeing this pitcher's face and body. I know it's embarassing while sounding crazy and idiotic at the same time because I know it not real. I used to have a fear of men, the only one I'd trust was this starting pitcher I've never ever met in real life. I don't have a fear of men so much anymore, I trust men more now and have wanted a boyfriend for quite some time. I am no longer so crazy about this pitcher as I was last year. He still haunts my mind somewhat off and on during each week and month. I still have a fear of sexual violence such as rape or harassment. I don't have any other delusions, but do have alot more auditory voices and visual hallucinations. I see shadow like and sometimes colored shapes that look like animals. In example would be triangular shapes that look like birds. I also see things such as rainbow neon lights and fuzzy or flashing white lights dancing across in front of me in places such as the shower. I see other humans body parts like hands. Lastly see a shadowlike outline of a human walking across the street in my neighborhood that's not really there. In example of an auditory voice would be hearing it tell me to cut my wrists and the rest of my body. These delusions, auditory voices and visual hallucinations make me feel helpless and out of control. In 2009, I was hospitilized for OCD and thats when the doctors first suspected that I might have some form of Schizophrenia.I currently go to a community Mental Health Center. I have been through many medications for my illness. I am currently on a medication called Abilify for my Schizophrenia. I hope by joining this group I can make new friends and share ideas about how to get well.

Thankyou,

silkroad