My current diagnosis, as of last year is Schizoaffective. I received the diagnosis of BiPolar or Cyclothymia when I was 23 years old (1993), after the birth of my first child and the first time I ever saw a psychiatrist.

I have seen several psychiatrists throughout the years that said the same thing, BiPolar, but I didn't want to believe it. I thought I had depression because that was the only symptom that really interfered with my life and was the most painful...I liked the hypomania and didn't start receiving BiPolar treatment until 2007 after my 2nd and most traumatic psychotic episode. (1st psychotic episode was in 1999 at 31 y.o, the 2nd in 2007, 3rd in 2012; I may have possibly had one in 2003 also but not sure).

I had been seeing a new psychiatrist for two years (2010-2012). He agreed with all my previous pdoc's diagnosis of BiPolar and GAD. Every psychiatrist I have seen since 1993 said or suspected BiPolar disorder.

In March of 2012 I had another psychotic episode (all of my psychotic episodes are in the Spring when I'm transitioning from Mania to Depression). In the hospital, they diagnosed me with Schizoaffective disorder.

After doing the research, I felt this was a better description of my symptoms. But, when I presented my local pdoc with my discharge papers and new diagnosis he said he wanted to keep my diagnosis as BiPolar disorder. I thought that was strange since I agreed with new diagnosis...it made much more sense to me.

While in the hospital, Invega was added to my Cymbalta and Trileptal. After about two months on the Invega, I started having severe emotional dysregulation (crying one minute, laughing the next, feeling panicked, etc) along with severe cognitive decline. I was so frustrated and couldn't find the words to describe to my pdoc how I was feeling. I started calling his office almost weekly requesting a call back or an emergency appointment. Many times he did not return my calls.

Later, he added xanax and went up on the Invega. After several weeks at this level of Invega things worsened to the point I was about to lose my job. I expressed my fear of losing my job, my inability to function, etc to him and told him I didn't feel like myself. His reply was "most people that lose their job go out and find another one and not get so emotional...I think you have Borderline and Histrionic Personality Disorder" and told me I needed to continue with therapy. He wrote down this diagnosis and told me to give it to my therapist. So I did. I was puzzled that after two years of seeing him, why would he just now make this diagnosis?

My therapist said he didn't see these two diagnosis in me at all. I know my pdoc was very frustrated with me because I seemed so desperate, panicked and emotional without being able to specifically describe what was going on with me cognitively and emotionally.

I recently did an intake with the social worker at my mental health clinic and she said the pdoc gave me the PD diagnosis because I was calling his office so much when I was feeling distressed on the Invega.

I've been researching BPD/Histrionic. It's difficult for me to tell the difference between BPD and some of my codependency...the two seem to run close together on SOME things.

There are many symptoms of BPD that I don't identify with (i.e. self-injurious, long history of suicide attempts, fear of abandonment, rage/anger, mood swings). I do have paranoia/psychosis but is that from possibly BPD or Schizoaffective disorder? My longest psychotic episode lasted 4 months and my shortest was 2 months so I'm not sure if that's considered brief or transient. I do get easily paranoid at anytime.

I don't relate to the Histrionic diagnosis at all but that doesn't mean it's not true.

I'm very confused.

I see a new psychiatrist (yet another one, due to another change in insurance) next month. I was very honest on my paperwork and added the BPD and Histrionic diagnosis that my old pdoc added last year because I need to know.

I want to be open minded about what my proper diagnosis is because the treatment for the two are very different. I've never been diagnosed with Borderline & Histrionic Personality disorder and at 43 years old, I would think one of the many pdoc's or tdoc's I've seen would have picked up on that by now. Or am I in complete denial here? I know no one here is a doctor but I could use some opinions.