I hate small talk, seriously I have absolutely no interest in any of your offspring or your husband's odor control methods. And he's a stay at home dad because you can't figure out ANY form of birth control and he is lazy. I can see the weather by looking out the window and since we both got to the office at 7:30 it's a fair bet that I too, had to drive here in a foot of snow. You slid off the road and dented your car? I didn't. You do not have my sympathy, take driving lessons..... I couldn't care less about your choice of christian preschool or the reasons why you think it's healthy to feed your 6 children (all under age 5) pop tarts or Capt'n Crunch for breakfast every single fucking day. You eat Hot Pockets for lunch everyday. You wouldn't know healthy if it bit you on your fat ass. Ever heard of V E G E T A B L E S. I hear they contribute to long life and efficient functioning through the vitamins and minerals they carry. Capt'n Crunch is fortified with 11 vitamins? Youse a extra good mommy. What on earth does Grey is the new Black... no that's not it... It's all Grey... Capt'n Grey... FUCK, Ahah! 50 Shades of Grey, Didn't read it, don't want to, and if you think you are practicing BDSM by following anything in that piece of trash people call a book then you really are stupider than I previously thought. I felt stupider just having it in my house when my neighbor excitedly insisted that I read it because she knows I will love it because I have books, she saw them. I touched it twice then carefully picked it up by the cover with just the tips of two fingers and threw it in the river. She never knew because she never shut up about how exciting it was and how naughty it was and wasn't he dreamy(?) while I smiled and willed her cat to bite her. I know stupider is not a word. but the memories are coming hot and fast and I'm a little loose on the keyboard.... Do NOT touch me. It's not an OCD, germy thing, it's because I hate people, period. Oh look it's an office morale event... you say we're going to the parking lot to wrap each other with toilet paper then have relay races... So sorry, I'm on the phone with one of our employees whose husband is dying but our medical insurance is denying the life saving treatment his doctor says he needs. What's that? Morale events need to be participated in by everyone. Absolutely, you are the 26 year old morale officer (what the fuck sort of degree do you need to be a morale officer and plan toilet paper events!?!?!), you certainly have the power to set the priorities for my job. Toilet paper first, lowly employees lives later. PEOPLE ARE STUPID!! My circle of friend wouldn't go round a fucking penny..... and only 3 people on this planet are allowed to touch me. Is that my phone ringing? Gotta go....

I don't hate individual people..... I hate people collectively. And maybe a few individuals. Or a lot of individuals. A person may have talents or attributes that I admire but collective people (like Trump supporters) can get sucked off the planet and I wouldn't care... I particularly hate people during elections and holidays which are currently sucking the life out of me because we have Trump AND Christmas all day everyday, brought to you by the people of the , blessed by god (or cursed by god, depending on who you have small talk with) Good ole USA. I'm sure they are all nice people just DON'T TALK TO ME!

Thank you, I may be able to face tomorrow.....