I think part of the reason people aren't posting here anymore has to do with fear, while others feel that no one would ever believe what they shared. I know this last one was true for me until I found the therapist I am now seeing. My therapist used to run two or three treatment programs that dealt with incest, sexual trauma, and satanic ritual abuse, so he really knows what he's talking about in this area. He and his wife now operate a treatment center that works with people who have eating disorders which usually result from childhood sexual abuse. They will be opening a new addition to their facility later this year that will treat alcohol and drug abuse. And somewhere down the line, they will have a facility for incest, sexual trauma, and ritualistic abuse. However, I have no time line for that at the present time.

I know I'm afraid to post stuff for fear of being banned. What I lived through and experienced was so dark, twisted and sick; but I think we're all in the same boat. I believe in the evil that takes place in every city in every state and that nobody wants to acknowledge. I am fortunate enough to have a therapist and psychiatrist that believe in ritualistic abuse and have been immensely helpful. As helpful as they've been I still can't get past the responsibility of being forced to take a life and having lives taken from me. My logical side tells me I'm not to blame, I had no control but my moral side is devastated and I'm finding that hard to live with on top of all the sensory flashbacks, paranoia, panic, anxiety etc.....you all should know the rest of the symptoms. If they ever get a facility for the last three, please let me know. If anybody would like to share personal experience or existing problems you can personal message me. I am not one to judge or question nor will I, ever. It would just be nice to know I'm not alone. Nothing you can say would surprise or disgust me; I've been there and unfortunately survived.

Hi Iced,

There is a book out there that might be of some help to you. It's titled, "Breaking the Circle of Satanic Ritual Abuse: Recognizing and Recovering From the Hidden Trauma", by Daniel Ryder. The book will add a great deal of validity to your experiences since various survivors of such abuse share parts of their story throughout the book. Also, at the end of the book there is a long list of referrals for the survivor of ritualistic abuse. The book may be ordered from: www.amazon.com.

Also, people who've gone through ritualistic abuse often develop something called Dissociative Identity Disorder (what used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder). There are a couple of therapists who have written rather extensively about D.I.D. (or M.P.D. if you prefer). Perhaps reading some of what they have written will prove helpful to you. One such therapist is named Richard P. Kluft, M.D., another is Cornelia B. Wilbur, M.D., and a third is Colin Ross, M.D. Dr. Ross has his own institute for the study of trauma and dissociation (www.rossinst.com/).

Going another direction, there is an organization called Ritual Abuse (www.ra-info.org) that has a number of resources for the ritual abuse survivor. And finally, the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (www.isst-d.org) also has a list of resources available on their website that might be of some help to you. So there are lots of resources out there, but they are kind of hidden and under the radar so to speak. Hopefully, something here will be of some help to you.

One final resource person would be my former therapist, Mark Schwartz, Sc.D. Mark is an expert at dealing with incest, sexual trauma, and ritualistic abuse and the aftereffects of each. He and his wife are now operating a small treatment center for eating disorders just outside of St. Louis called Castlewood Treatment Center (www.castlewoodtc.com/). If you'd be interested, you might want to give him a call and see if he has any other ideas as to resources that might be of help to you. His phone number at the Center is (888)-822-8938. I'm sure he'd be very happy to help in any way he could. (And if you have an eating disorder of any kind, his program is FANTASTIC, and they do have some scholarship help available if cost is a consideration for you).

So there you have a few more resources to help you along your way. I again hope that something here proves helpful. If you have any questions, or if I may be of any further assistance, please let me know. I'm always happy to help in any way I can. Take care, and I'll chat with you again later.

(P.S.-- Unfortunately, no one can send you a Private Message about their experiences because you have your account set up so that only your friends can gain access to you and Private Message you. That's fine if that's the way you want things. But if you want others to be able to contact you, you may want to change your privacy settings under the "My Account" tab. Just thought I'd mention it for whatever it's worth).

Well, it's 2015 and I wonder if anyone will respond to this. I somehow found myself on this site after feeling some really wierd stuff today and then checking out the calendar and discovering that this might have something to do with the date. Thank you Charlie0217 and Iced for the sharing that you have done. Even this has helped me to understand a little bit more ... it is hard to know if what I experience has to do with this or that since they all come from the evil pot. My entire memories include lots of abuse and I have a partial memory that I experienced as a wee child which I know because of the way that I spoke when the memory surfaced. Because of that one relative memory "there was chanting and my monther and then a knife and blood all over me" and the visual is one of black cloaks and hoods ... That is how the memory went my mother is the monther - how brilliant of the child to have put monster and mother together. I have been afraid of babies (many years ago) , brides, weddings and for a few years Halloween had me totally freaking out inside with the surprise of the costumes. Sometimes, I have even thought that I had birthed a child; yet I do not know if I did for sure. So, I will write this little bit to see if I have a response from anyone.