Hello,

This is a tough one to say the least! I've found even with my closest friends or family when I was first diagnosed it took so long to explain the major components most just "tuned out". I know that sucks but it's true.

When someone says, "Cancer" people get it right away, when someone says "Diabetes, Leukemia, broken leg" people get it. When we say Rheumatoid Arthritis they think of the latter word "Arthritis" & think automatically, "Just take a Tyelonol & stop whining"!

They don't get it's an Auto Immune Disease which arthritis is just the end result of the body attacking itself. They don't get it can affect your lungs, heart, kidneys. Some who think they know because they've seen & actually paid attention to the commercials like Humira or Enbrel still think, "Oh okay so you take a pill & you're fine, it makes it all 100% better".

So my advise is if you really want to start telling people try to explain to them the bigger picture & focus on the auto immune disease rather than the arthritis. Thats just my 2 cents.

I agree with oceans11, about focusing on the autoimmune part of the disease that than arthritis.
I refer to my RA only as "Rheumatoid Disease", not rheumatoid arthritis. My understanding is that the name is actually going to be changed by the medical profession, CDC, drug companies, etc. in the near future?!

Let me correct myself, the name change is being worked on by RA groups and it is hoped that the medical community, CDC, drug companies, etc. embrace the change.
Either way, I refer to it only as Rheumatoid Disease.

I think it's a personal decision and everyone's comfort level will be different. I have opted for total transparency for the reasons I'll list here, but let me stress that this won't be everyone's reasoning, and that's perfectly okay. I'm a transparent person in general; I have nearly zero protective layers. I'm an educator (although retired from the job) at heart and i want to use my experience to give other people information (I might have been diagnosed and helped earlier, had I known what to look for). I want no misinterpretations if I won't / can't shake someone's hand on a particular day. I do not want to appear as if I'm shirking responsibilities or not pitching in to help when it's actually a fatigue or pain issue. And I think that we are all one family, all one world, and sharing my struggle might connect me to someone else, might maybe ease their struggle a little too. I had my first manicure in my whole life three weeks ago, and the manicurist told me she had RA. It sounds dopey, maybe, but that twenty minute bond I shared with a woman who, quite honestly, I might not even recognize if I saw again, was very helpful to me.

All very good and even slightly Polly-anna-ish, I realize, and the other side of the coin needs to be celebrated too: I think of David Bowie dying from a cancer no one knew he had, having performed fairly close to his death. There's a certain grace and elegance to that which can't be denied.

So I think it comes down to your personal comfort level, and it should You own your RA, and you can park it wherever you want.

It's never too soon to wear an awareness ribbon. People, such as my husband, wears awareness ribbon T-Shirts, has a "fight RA" bumper sticker on his car and wears (my favorite), a t-shirt that reads "Someone I love needs a cure for RA".
Wearing the ribbon only helps bring awareness to the disease so many of us are fighting. Wear it proudly, stay strong, I remember the day I was diagnosed, I'll never forget it.

I really appreciate you guys taking the time to reply. I haven't told many people in my life yet, I'm sure when the time is right I will know how. I did order an awareness bracelet, kinda hoping that will open the conversation with at least a few people.

I think maybe you guys think too much about stuff that just needs to be lived. I'm not saying don't think. My take is that when stuff happens, look it over, figure out, as best you can, what's going on, and if it doesn't go away and you're worried about it, make a plan to deal with. It doesn't make any difference what you call your disease, how you got it or if it's worse or better than your neighbor's. it's yours, and it's probably different than mine, and even if we take the same drugs, we probably don't get the same response. It is nice to be able to talk about it, but in the end, we all own whatever we call this thing.

When the situation presents, I say I have rheumatoid arthritis, and usually leave it that. If someone persists, I say I take drugs for it. Let them figure it out.

Everyone will have their opinions on who to tell and how, as you can see from these responses. Keep in mind, some of these folks have had this disease for a long time. So their sharing of their disease may have evolved over years. I also agree with Joline's comments.
Since you asked for opinions, I think you should really focus on yourself at the time of diagnosis and get your head wrapped around this new diagnosis and treatments and so on. You need to let this all settle in first before getting others involved. I included my immediate family, and my office-mate who I also consider a good friend, because she has to listen to me complain about my pain! I would inform a boss or teacher if it is going to interrupt work or school or whatever. But, I personally don't need the world to know, and don't need to invite people to ask me about my personal health. I share when the appropriate door is open -- and that may be a good friend or someone I barely know, depending on the situation.

i did not need or want accommodations at work when first diagnosed and I did not want it in the HR brain of my non HR boss so I did not bother sharing at work.

that being said that might not be the case with someone who has a wicked physical career. so it depends. the answer is there is no answer. do whatever floats your boat.

my kids did not care because they were you know, well kids. I shared when it worked to share. it's a chronic disease until death do you part. so I figured it would change over the years and decades and it has and it will.

I do, also, want to meet you where you are, as opposed to my middle aged self. maybe you are in your teens or 20's and this is a huge lifestyle change for you immediately- from walking to wheel chair - or from college to being temporarily sidelined until meds get kicking. whatever it is, get the support you need as you want it :) welcome.

depot

Are people asking questions? If not, I agree with others and let things flow. If you need support, need to talk about it to a real life person, tell a trusted friend. Otherwise, try not to worry about it. In my worst days, I was out of circulation, so not very many people saw me crawling around, vegging in an easy chair. Now it just doesn't matter. I'd wait 'til I walked in the awareness parade before getting the ribbon, but that's just me. Best wishes.