Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group
Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...
As silver linings go, it's woefully inadequate, but I just had the very first moment where I saw a tiny, tiny upside of RA: after years of passive aggressive arguments with my locked-in-the-dark-ages spouse about the mending pile, I was able to say to my husband "There's not a chance I can thread a needle and put that button back on your dress shirt. Time to figure out Plan B." He's not actually a Neanderthal, but for some reason he seems to think that having a penis means he can't sew on a button. Baffling. Now, the RA sucks, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it felt good to tell him that it's his problem now.
Sadly, the warm dish water feels good on my hands, so I'm stuck with that chore for life.
I hate when I'm making dinner and can't open something I need for the meal and he is not due home for another hour.
no wait a minute no one is ever due home. scratch that.
i like the levity in this thread and the brazen (laughing) statement of anatomical equipment.
please be advised that it is not any different with same sex SO's so sadly the metaphor of domestic step to the plateness does not seem to be aligned with anatomy in all worlds. some folks are just entitled to their present reality and we are most times complicit in their denial (laughing again). I LIKE to pretend that there are divisions of agreeable tasks in all domiciles. I would love to hear the millennials - the 18-30 year olds' roar their input on this thread :)
depot
I will say I have completely stopped folding socks. I don't mind the other stuff but rolling up socks is painful.
My ex-husband used to complain about my cooking either seriously or jokingly. Then he started complaining about my shopping - that I bought a dented can. I told him, if you don't like the way i cook or shop - do it yourself!
Then he complained I wasn't good in bed. I told him he could do that himself, too! Haha Divorce!
Being single vs being married or in a relationship. Pluses and minuses; pros and cons as with everything in life.
I have no one to help me open jars and other things that are difficult for me, but also no one to argue with or complain, or have expectations of me! If i want to hang in my PJs all day, i do it!! I eat when i want. I clean the house when i want!
So, I own every jar opener devise imaginable including an electric jar opener that I love! I pay a handyman when I accumulate a list of things to be done or in an emergency. And I am much happier than when i was married!!
Just me and my cat! :-)) Happy, happy, happy!! Cat never complains!!
So, gradually, hubby is having to take over a lot of responsibility for things I cannot do. He is pretty used to it, by now. The thing I do, is make sure I do the things I am capable of doing, with aids. So thumb caps and wrist guards, I can empty the dishwasher and put the dirty dishes in. Then, he has to wash any dishes that cannot go in the dish washer. And sometimes that is not the first day! I've learned to be patient and ignore the dirty mess!
I also raised 3 sons, (and a daughter) who cook, clean, do laundry, and even do a bit of mending. It's just their boomer father that was raised wrong. My MIL thinks that men are not physically able to do things Iike make beds, wash dishes, etc. Our oldest son went into the reserve, and he learned to make a bed that you can jump a dime off of! When we took my MIL to his campus housing to visit him, there was a line down the middle of the room. His roommate's half was a pig sty. Our son's half could have passed a military inspection. My MIL still marvels that a "boy" could make a bed that way!
I've been teaching my husband how to make a bed going on 37 years now. But the last two years, with a heavy hybrid king bed, I literally cannot pull on corners, or tuck the sheets under the bed. He is about 90% of the way there. After all, he has a huge learning block against men being able to do the complicated rocket science of making a bed! (This from a guy who can fix anything!) At least he is now there, and doesn't complain.
Now, if I can just teach him how to clean out toilets! I admit, I finally gave up and hired housekeepers. But we have been out of town and missing them, after two months, I see why I hired them, and why I will always have them.
No advice for buttons. Just keep on working on him!
I am lucky to have a husband who doesn't complain when the house is messy (dog and kid) or dinner is not ready, etc, even after I have had a day off. He helps when I ask, and even recently started doing more things without being asked (woo hoo!). He is a good cook too. My brother (who left for college with instructions on a note card of how to wash his clothes) is now the primary cook in his house, and he is a very creative chef. I am determined to raise my son to be self-sufficient and be a contributing member of his household, and not expect to be waited on. He also knows that I sometimes need help because of pain and he'll step up and help out.