When I lived in a different province, the provincial health plan had a 30 page questionnaire you had to fill out to get approval for biologics. About half the questions were about depression.

I was terrfied if I answered I was depressed, they would take me off my meds, since depression was my issue, not severe RA. After quite a few years, I finally got the nerve to ask the nurse casually why there were so many questions on mental health on a survey for how you are living with RA.

The nurse told me it is because 95% of all people become depressed when they have a chronic illness. If the meds start working, it should improve your quality of life.

The first 5 or 6 years of RA were years of total despair and depression for me. It is really a testament to God's mercy and grace that I am still here. After I got on a good med combo, the depression took a while to go away, but it did.

This year I am on my third biologic. I also failed two in the preceding years. I have had a few dark moments but being much farther along the RA road, and much closer to Christ, I can say I am doing well, mentally, even during those times when I was totally bed ridden.

You might want to see a doctor and see about adding an anti-depressant to your med list. I won't help you play billards better or allow you to drink alcohol, but it will be the first step on aquiring some coping skills to live this life, and to accept that life is still worthwhile, in spite of the pain and limitations.

I take an antidepressant and feel it really helps. Thank God my first rheummy talked me into it.

I'm glad you reached out, too. I've battled depression for years, and my fibro and RA diagnoses didn't help matters. I agree about talking to your doctor about this. Antidepressants can change your life, meaning your outlook on life. It helps me handle things so much better.

Best of luck to you!

I can't say I am depressed on the same level for serious lengths of time. I can say I've been in that black pit enough to scare the heck out of me. Also realized recently it's sneaks up on you. Sometimes slowly till one days you realize every day you've been slowly giving up or with drawing from life.
It's hard, extremely hard to be hit with a life altering diagnosis that leaves you in chronic pain fighting for quality. Others who do not experiance loosing control of life cannot possibly understand.
I'd burst into tears with no warning just listening to others living a "normal" life. The entire thing becomes over whelming.
Yet there is hope & there is help.
Can't touch anti depressants or I'd sure try during these difficult times.
It's deciding whether you want to hand over control to a disease or doing everything in your power to take control.
Either way it's hard. Battles that seem ongoing.
Although today we have options in medications for control vs years ago where they had little to no hope. There's a positive.

Honestly I feel it's a process that requires many to go through the stages of grief & loss....you know denial, anger, grief...acceptance.....
For many these are ongoing for many, many years.
Bless those that find acceptance the first time around.
It's a viscous circle for me but I also realize compared to those facing bigger battles I'm blessed. Just need reminded every now & then.
I hope you seek the help you need. Lord knows it's not uncommon. Hence the reason depression is listed on every form you fill out during those routine visits.
Reach out & use every tool at your disposal. Sometimes support & understanding are as important as the treatments.
God is my anchor & with that said I don't always do well with handing it over. We all find our own method. I have little doubt the day will come I'll be reaching out to a therapist. I'm OK with that.
Really hope you find that something that helps you....
Your worth it. I'm sorry your going through such a hard time.
Don't allow this monster to steal your life.
Sammy

Thank you all for your responses, every single one has a lot of excellent feedback that helps. I did struggle with depression prior to this diagnosis because of unfortunate life events, but I was managing, so this diagnosis feels like a death sentence to me. Every time I over come an obstacle in my life Im handed another. They say He only gives you what you can handle, Im barely holding on. This group is very helpful to me. I am taking it all one day at a time and I am looking for a support group in my area that deals with specifically RA or just chronic illnesses. Thanks again to all of you for your kind input, it all helps. Hopefully I will get to the point where it all levels out and I accept this for what it is and stop trying to fight it. If I can get into a good remission and get to play my game again, thats all I'm asking for.

Please talk to your regular doctor or your Rheumy about the depression. It is not to be taken lightly. It can be a chemical imbalance within the brain. I struggled w/ depression a lot after the diagnosis. I went to a counselor for a short while bc my father was in the hospital dying and I knew it... It did help. I was placed on clonazepam and my antidepressant was doubled . it helped a great deal. I also spent time out in the sun... which seemed to really alleviate the depression. Not hot direct, but just time outside on the porch or swing. I also journaled and wrote concerning my depression and feelings.
Best of luck to you and will be thinking of you. It is tough. This diag is life changing and there doesn't seem to be a rallying of support life say for ... cancer... or some kind of "external" / visible disease. People are rather passive in response to the diag and say hurtful things like "well at least you don't have cancer".... etc... That is downright stupid and hurtful bc this after 6 years has not gone away and stolen much of my life....
With that said... my doctors have helped me a lot. So has my husband. And my family helped a lot.... and this group is here for support.
Namaste Sun

Hi Char and thank you for the kind words you shared with me. You know I am suffering from severe depression myself as well as PTSD.

Any chronic illness is a blow. We hit our 40's and mortality comes calling and now...you are "sick forever". I've been fighting severe pain since early childhood so for me, it was the frustration of not being diagnosed for many years but I was used to pain...what a horrible thing to say....I was "used to pain"....but you will adapt and say it too someday.

But you need a great rheumy...not just a good one but one that you feel really listens to you and who gets you on the right mix of meds that really helps. When I got on a combo of Orencia and methotrexate, my Ra literally disappeared and I felt like I never had it. It's called remission and it can happen. Unfortunately, I've had to stop it for extended periods of time for 2 major surgeries and each time, when I went back on, it didn't work as well as it had. I celebrated 7 years on Orencia this month but will be looking to try something new after the next batch of surgeries. Already failed Enbrel and allergic to Humira. Maybe I'll try Actemra....don't know.

But what I do know is that the researchers are making inroads into the treatment of RA so fast, it's hard to keep up. When I started with this, it was aspirin in high doses(16 to 24 aspirins a day) or IV gold treatments or cortisone shots and pills in low doses. I have a splint for just about every joint...that was another option. Joint replacement surgery didn't even come along until the 1970's and then, they lasted a year or 2 only.

Now we have drugs that can actually put us in remission and that has now become the goal of every rheumy. Can a cure be far away?

You can talk to me at any time and I'd find a way to see a therapist ASAP...every hospital has a clinic that offers therapy on a sliding fee scale if money is a problem(thank heavens for Medicare). How far are you from Baltimore and Johns Hopkins...lots of help there. I'm in western Connecticut and go to Boston for a lot of my treatment and go to Springfield, Mass. to see my rheumy. When you feel like your life is on the line, there is no such thing as too far to travel for help and hope.

gentle hugs.................Jen