If someone has it say hi, as it is a "special" club we are in isn't it? There are so few people who understand RA that if someone came up to me and started talking RA I'd be grateful to finally meet someone who does get it.

Sue

I think you're right about it not being a topic upon a first meeting but left for later conversations. I try to lead my life so people don't know I have RA. It can be difficult to do while in pain and fatigued. Sometimes its hard to stay strong around people that know. Is that strange? I do tell people who are close to me and sometimes those who are around when I feel like talking about it.

I would be happy is someone came up to me and wanted to talk about it for any reason, but then, I'm in this support group, happily discussing all the details and my worries. I probably wouldn't greet someone with hey, you've got RA too, huh? But I would let it slip out that I have it, then they can talk about it or not. There is a teller at my bank that I am sure has is, bright red swollen knuckles, slowly rises from her stool and limps for a few feet. I asked her about he hands, and she was all embarrased. She has rosacea on her face, and has been told that is why her hands are red! I asked her if they were sore, like her feet, to which see agreed, but she doen't want to seek more care. Her Dr said it was rosacea, and she doesn't want to look further. I know its only a matter of time and she'll be driven to look, but it's too bad she won't even ask I know I have not taken many peoples advice about trying their tea, or the special tree bark,or something, but I have explored pretty much everything else suggested.

I would have no problem discussing my RA with anyone who is interested. This is all new to me and other than this group and my family it seems like nobody else in my everyday life really understands this disease, so to find someone else who is genuinely interested would be a welcome change.
My mom mentioned to me that a friend of hers knows a young lady in her Bible study group with R.A. she asked me if I wanted her name. I said yes and was wondering if it would be odd of me to try to contact her as it would be really nice to have someone in my life who actually really understands.

It's a tough call. She may be quite self-conscious about her hands' appearance and uncomfortable that you noticed. (How could you not?) She may be very private. She may be ticked off that you have access to treatment she didn't. On the other hand, she might welcome a chance to talk to someone else in the same boat. With a stranger you just never know.

To StraitFan, I would look up the friend of a friend. assuming she is willing to give her contact information. That is an open invitation. Meet her for lunch and coffee. You can compare notes about treatments, local doctors, and just have someone to gripe with who GETS IT.

People's reactions are always different. Some ppl talk freely about RA when they have it and others do not want to talk about it.

I called a girl that I knew (I taughter her son) when I was first diagnosed bc she has RA as well. I called her periodically to talk. Later she told me that she did not want to talk to me bc she wanted to FORGET that she had RA and I only reminded her of it.

I had no idea that she felt that way. I stopped calling her.

... really it is my thought that it is only an assumption that she has RA. There are many diseases that cause swelling and or crippling. She could not have had RA at all...

Just a thought.

I met a woman once in a gardening shop who had the same wrist guards as I do, and obvious deformities. She was much younger than me, too.

I didn't hesitate to ask her if she had RA, which she did. We had a nice time talking about it in the line up, but she told me I should not be carrying things without the wrist guards. That is when I was in 100% remission with mthx and Kineret, and didn't need them. I didn't share that, as I didn't want to make her feel bad that I was in remission. I knew that one day my time would come.

I would always talk to someone if I was certain they had RA. But I am super outgoing, so it would be hard to stop me.