Bless Your Heart!!! I definetely know how you feel. I am on Humira and methotrexate also. I also have a few good days but I have more bad ones. People who don't have RA cannot even comprehend what you are going through. Only people who actually have the disease knows how it feels. I actually don't tell many people at work about my RA because they always say that I don't look sick! I hope you will start having more good days and keep posting. It helps to know there are others out there going through the same thing.

I've graduated from Humira to Actemra plus MTX and prednisone (something at your age, stay clear of until you must). Male, age 56, diagnosed February 2013 though I had it goodness knows how long before. Welcome in, sorry that your here. People without any type of auto-immune will not understand UNLESS they knew well a relative that bore the cross of RA. That's okay though. There was a song in the 90's by the Gin Blossoms, "Hey Jealousy" that has a line in it that goes "And if you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down". Obviously that's about a romantic relationship (and also very accurate considering it's sung by a man...true confession here) but also applies well to us thinking that the un-auto-immune's will get it. They just won't, don't expect them to be able to do so. Get along with them anyway because you can always turn on the hardened-cold-edged self engrossed personality at anytime but most of them have no real clue about true empathy as do you and I. You're good!

Hang in there!! I too have some good days, but a lot of bad. ( on Methotrexate and plaquenil ),I work with someone else who has RA. She has been controlled on Methotrexate alone for years. Where as here I am so miserable most days, I can see my coworkers not believing me. As everyone else said only people with the disease can understand what you are going through.

Thank you all for responding. Although I hate that you understand me because that means you're struggling too , it's nice not to feel alone... there's a few things I'd like to vent if that's okay.

Do any of you ever worry about the future? When I first got sick, it was really bad. To the point I needed assistance doing basic things. I couldn't function, had to get help to wash my hair, get dressed, even open a water bottle. Although now I can do these things, I still struggle. I'm terrified that I'll be back in that same place. I worry about how it will impact my family/friends. I don't want to be a burden on them. They have their own lives. I'm scared that I will have to live like that again.

Also, this auto immune disease has seriously affected my relationships. My last relationship ended because they said they couldn't take it, they hated how I always got sick (thanks to my pittiful immune system), they hated having to take care of me and felt like they were my babysitter. Now, I don't let anyone close and it really sucks. The sad part is, I agree with him because I was and am a burden. It's not easy to deal with our troubles so I couldn't blame him for not wanting to either.

I really struggle mentally too. Some days I rather give up. When I wake up, it feels like there's a rock on top of me and I can't get up. When it rains or when it's cold, I am so unbelievably miserable.

I don't talk to anyone about these things because who would want to listen to all this? Plus my friends don't understand and although my family tries their best, they tend to make me feel worse.

Does anyone else struggle with these things?

You keep singing my song young lady. Couple of things to help, a heated pad for your bed will help with the stiffness when you awake. Rub frankincense at the base of your skull where the spine enters (as often as needed) to take the edge off the anxiety. RA is a burden and therefore you are a burden, I am a burden, it's just the way things are. You'll find the right partner, I did and so will you....most liekly when you least expect it. You've got to live for now, if I think of what was I get down because it'll be no more for me. If I think about the future and what MIGHT be then I freak out and panic. Stay in the now, find the balance you need then extend the thought forward a wee bit.

The fact that you recognize and admit all this stuff means you're well on the way of handling it all!

I get that "but you look normal" comment all the time. I just got it today when I had to turn down a dinner party invitation for the weekend because I caught a bad cold and bronchitis 5 days ago. The hostess said I should come because because I wouldn't be contagious and ......well, SHE had the same thing and she was back to normal in 4 days. She doesn't understand that having RA and the drugs we take make us sitting ducks for viruses that take at least twice as long to recover from.

Darn, and I was really looking forward to going. I probably won't be contagious then, but my energy level is -0- and I don't see it coming back any time soon. Plus the goose honk cough that will wake the dead........no, I don't think they'd appreciate me being there. [Though if I go, it sure would prove a point about this disease. But I won't.]

Hi, I am also new to this forum, and was suggested by my husband to speak to people who can understand better than he does in an attempt to help me mentally.

I'm young too, 26yrs old, and I can resonate with much that you are saying.

For years I was teased by family and friends for being a "fader" (in other words, always missing out) because I just want to sleep.."you sleep so much!" "you're always tired!" "Stay up later"

I also always felt lazy. I never understood I suffered with fatigue. I always criticized myself because I was constantly tired after tasks - even small tasks. Wash the dishes, sit down. Sweep the floor, sit down. Polish the furniture, sit down. Why do I get tired all the time! I must be so lazy...So I overcompensate....push too hard and then suffer later.


I also just didn't speak about it to anyone....because I thought I look fine, I'm young, I'm relatively fit....Until I got diagnosed last year and have come to learn SO much about myself and this illness. And there is so much more to learn.


Yes, this illness is a burden, but you certainly are not. You seem to have a beautiful and soft heart, and are more worried about everyone else your illness affects than you.

I'm glad you are here, just like I'm glad I found this place. Because the more I read from real people, the more I realise that if people are weird or difficult about my illness or the way I feel, its because they just aren't educated enough....just like I wasn't before I got diagnosed.

I do understand how you feel. I am in remission now but my right wrist already lost mobility and hurts a lot. Sometimes it hurts so much that I cannot to start my car and terrified if I see a ball looking door knob I need to turn. I got married with RA and my husband did not see the worse I had to go through because I already had my condition under control. I still get sad when he hand me a heavy box or a bag when we come from grocery store. I carry it and fight tears from pain.