I like this! Well, I don't like your nausea, but your thoughts on coping.

French fries ALWAYS sound like a good idea at the time. lol

I had the same thought the other day after a rough dr. appt about an arby's roast beef and a mint chocolate shake. Oh, bad idea. I knew as soon as I saw that giant green drink. The next morning was rough haha. burp.

Anyway, I've been saying "it just is what it is" for a while now. Like, if I have to share a reason why I'm not up for a request by an acquaintance and decide to share my RA with them. They look pitifully at me, but I'm like "eh, it is what it is." I guess I am learning to take each day as it comes, for the most part and accept it rather than fight it all the time.

It's still OK to have a day now and throw a tantrum of sorts too.

Hope you get over the new mtx hump soon!

If it helps you, I have been on mtx for 2 years and Humira for 1 year.... and while I do have some side effects from the mtx, I have never experienced any side effects from the Humira. Noticed some changes to the good after 1 month on Humira.

Hope they work for you and that you start your Humira soon!
Cindy

thanks y'all. i'm really excited about trying humira. i was scared to start enbrel but since i really didn't experience any side effects and it didn't work at all, i'm excited to start humira. i remember the first time i was on mtx it took about two weeks for the nausea to go away.

my pain levels have been ridiculous. i was trying to make 8 hard boiled eggs last night for hubby's lunches this week. i dropped 2 in the pot and broke them. i noticed that grabbing the sheets to pull them up was painful. so my hands have gotten worse than they had been.

and i have to find my mom's old medical book or google or something... i have this pretty bad pain in my heels but on the back. it's making it hard to walk.

keeping on my 'life on life's terms' idea.... we're having a DAMN BLIZZARD ON LONG ISLAND. apparently it's not even snowing some parts of long island, but it's snowing heavily where i live. i have a group that i was supposed to lead at 11am but because of the snow, everything was pushed back an hour. so i went to clean off my car, barely got out of the parking lot, and went about a mile and a half - in 40 minutes. so i turned around. there's like 4 inches of wet, icy snow out there and the roads have not been plowed. even major roads and highways have not been plowed.

on top of that, i got a call from the vet about my cat's bloodwork and i don't like it. my cat piglet has had a tooth issue for a couple of months now and early this month we scheduled surgery to have it extracted. but her blood showed she was in kidney failure so we couldn't do the surgery. she came home with antibiotics and i changed her diet and her numbers are better, but still high enough that her kidneys aren't functioning well. they want to hospitalize piglet for two days prior to surgery, keep her on iv fluids to flush her system, and then see if she's stable enough for surgery. this is coming with a $2000 price tag (remember, i'm an unpaid intern) and no guarantees.

i've requested paper copies of all her labs and whatnot. i'm considering getting a second opinion from the *only* dental veterinarian on long island. the upshot to that is that he will work quickly, meaning less time under anesthesia for piglet, and he works with high risk surgery patients, which piglet is.

i am not a happy mama, but i'm trying to accept life on life's terms. i'm not sure if i'm succeeding right now.

I guess I can see why they would use that term..but I also feel that we don't have to live life ONLY on its terms...but live life to the best that we as an individual can(legally) :)

apparently life isn't done shoveling sh*t yet. my husband was told not to come into work this morning at normal time, but instead to show up at 9am for a meeting. these meetings always end in suspensions or terminations. he was off yesterday and had a rough day on monday; apparently he had a bit of an attitude and his boss didn't like it.

he left a little while ago and i've been trying not to freak out and trying to focus on the fact that we don't know what's happening yet, but all i can think about is the fact that if he gets fired, we have nothing. i have two months left of an unpaid internship. unemployment in this state is less than a quarter of what he makes weekly. i'll lose my health insurance. we won't be able to do anything for piglet (my cat).

i know he can get another job easily, but it's so strange. he's been here for over a year and it's one of the best jobs he's ever had. he loves the company, he loves his coworkers, and he doesn't outright hate management (when you're a technician in a dealership, management is made of up businessmen who usually don't know anything about working on automobiles. which makes them an easy group of people to dislike). and let's not forget the 10th anniversary trip this october that we've been planning for months. if he has to get another job, he may not be able to take that time off.

i try to believe that everything happens for a reason. it's very frustrating to me when i can't find that reason. suffering from the mental illnesses i suffer from doesn't help either; when something like this happens, my illness tells me horrible, horrible things. and it's hard to get control of that.

trying to stay positive and think positive thoughts. life on life's terms. damn it.

just got an update: hubby still has his job. i'm glad i vented because my stomach was in knots and my head was about to implode and i had to get it out.

but seriously. times like this make me miss my klonopin.

Glad to hear about your husband still being employed...next time his boss has him come in at a different time for a meeting-tell him to cough up the news now-the waiting makes you literally ill :P

Steph, I can so relate to your hubby's job issues. I have been going through things like that for 8 years now. He is STILL looking for a "real" job. I have suggested just learning to live with piecing together part time jobs, just to have some PEACE and acceptance. But so many times we have been on pins and needles about jobs. I am just sick of it. I'm glad yours till has his job. The workplace has changed so much over recent years. So much more is expected for less pay, etc.

And he's been on the job hunt (not local) while I've been going through this breast cancer diagnosis and I'm like "hello?! one thing at a time!"

The stress is just too much at times. Hang in there.

blegh - i know. it's been like a brick in my stomach most of the day. once i get that worked up it's hard to just turn it off.

on top of that, i had to meet with our old scummy landlord and fight to get more of our deposit back. we moved out 9 months ago and have been going back and forth this entire time. i finally nailed him down to a face to face meeting and he's such a douchecanoe - SO glad we don't rent there any longer. but i was able to get him to meet me halfway on what we were asking for back. it was just stressful and frustrating and ugh.

back to attempting to focus on positive stuff!!