Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group
Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...
I just told my husband that I am FINISHED with having gatherings at our house for the holidays. I have had RA for 9 years... and I have hated, dreaded, and become exhausted with each holiday (Thanksgiving / and Christmas).
It has come to the point I can't get out of bed from just trying to do the preparations. I am working part/part time and I will not give up my job for the two holidays of the year....
But I just can't do it any more... the preparing, shopping, getting the house cleaned, get my own self ready and looking descent, figuring out when to start the meals, having everything hot and ready at the same time, ppl coming over, men just sitting in the damn recliners while I cook and clean and plan, ....
The clean up... And I NO LONGER ENJOY it... I just don't.
So I told my husband today that dinner is called OFF. We had actually gone to get the stuff for me to cook... but I just can't even get dressed today. This is NONSENSE> I am finally done. I told him we are going to Denny's and having coffee and cobbler here at the house afterwards. My mom totally gets it. But the damn brother in law won't even commit to whether he is coming or not but by dang there better be some food ready for him if he does come. NONSENSE.
It has been a turning point. I told hubby I am done. No more entertaining at MY HOUSE. With RA and CFS I just can't do it.
I am ranting... but the line was finally drawn after 9 years. TY for listening.
Tell your lovely brother in law you are excited to try his cooking this year and offer to bring to his house EXACTLY what he brings to yours usually.
Or order Chinese.
Your brother in law is on the naughty list.
I am glad your husband is not being a problem about your sane sensible decision! I hope he is supportive.
We ALL have every right and OBLIGATION to take care of ourselves!
In time, I hope you find a treatment combination that allows you to do more - if you WANT to! Know that the nature of RA is inconsistency.
HAPPY - STRESS-FREE - HOLIDAYS!!!
Girlfriend in Morro Bay, married: they go to a lovely restaurant for Christmas. She has MS and NO WAY is she struggling.
My cousin taking care of declining spouse: they go to their daughter's house.
Elderly cousin with kids....a widow.....she can't take a whole day of screaming kids so she gets together with other widows and they go to a restaurant.
We are exhausted from the holidays and choose to stay home in jammies and catch up on phone calls with loved ones. No big meal.
ANYONE WITH RA IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY TO GO THROUGH ALL THE COOKING AND PREP FOR ANY HOLIDAY. LET OTHERS TAKE CARE OF YOU.
Furthermore, let me suggest that if you haven't done so yet, try cutting down on gift giving and sending cards. A MUCH more meaningful "gift" is a lunch or dinner date with a friend or special person or spouse and kids. The best gift anyone can give me is the pleasure of their company where neither of us is charged with the duty of preparing a meal or cleaning the house to the point where it's sterile.
PACE YOURSELF!!!!
It's not like we're lazy.