pass the baton. support comes in a group effort
- if it doesn't and it's a party of one then aunty needs to be in rehab.

thank you depotblue. We have been passing the baton around... but i am still taking on too much. Yes, it might be time for aunty to get some hired help.
thank you so much for your encouragement.
i have a hard time facing my limitations... xo

There are agencies available for in home help. Caregivers and home health services. Maybe your aunt is eligible through insurance or social security. Check with her doctor who can prescribe the need of these services for your aunt. Explain to the doctor it is too much for your family to handle at this time.

I do understand the guilt and frustration you're expressing ginger. This is the place to vent it but you must let it go because you'll only hurt you if you retain it.

realistically speaking, what is your bottom line? u tried 5 days at 8hrs per day (which btw is no small task) that was over the limit for u (as would be for me) be very honest with yourself, what is within a manageable limit for u? 3 days at 4hrs per day? does that sound reasonable, or unreasonable- at the end of the day- your health is on the line here too- so u need to find a functional balance and set those boundaries and do not apologize because u CAN still offer your help, just as u can offer a few dollars to a homeless person on the corner without offering your entire check book. It needs to be within Your means, otherwise its at your EXPENSE. So, u can say Aunt X I would love to help u out this week, I can come by tues, thurs and fri between 2 and 6 (something like that) and tell whoever else is helping out, offer them your availability, on your terms. I understand that u want to do more, but u cant right now, accept that, don't project it into the conversation, use your language and your tone with assurance, drop the guilt, trust me I know how u feel, but u cant help anyone stand back up on their 2 feet - if u yourself cant stand on your own, and those of us who already suffer chronic illness have an invisible battle we're up against every day , so we have to be on our own teams first and foremost, and only give what we can, its not selfish its survival. Best wishes to u

Caring for someone with a broken hip is immense! Are you lifting her? It would be more than a fully healthy person can handle. It's shame no family member contacted social service at the hospital where she had her surgery to arrange for follow-up care at home. But it's not too late. Call or google Visiting Nurse Services. Call her health insurance and her orthopedic surgeon's office. Call Meals on Wheels.

THIS is how you can help! You can help her get the services she needs. This is what I needed help with when I broke my ankle! There are professionals whose job is it to deal with patients in these situations.