Sadly you are right. Life changes yet for so many it's a learning process of what those limits are. Something so simple as wrapping gifts, very hard for others to grasp.
Your so right in what you state. Reading your words makes me think it's all part of acceptance. Yet we remain human & challenge ourselves even when we know the outcome may not be good.
This disease forces us to conform & it's not always easy.
So Invisable to others & inconceivable.
Positivity will give you what no medication can. It's ok to feel that maintaining that positivity can be challenging at times.
You will be a help to others, your comments from this post will help another. So thank you for sharing.
Hugs, Sammy
PS I'm still staring at the boxes dreading wrapping. To boot they look like a festive mess by the time I'm done.

Sometimes when life gives you a reason to slow down, you can take the time to appreciate the things you have missed with our hectic pace.

I love birds..always have since I picked up a tiny bird that had hit a window and it woke up and sat in my hands for a while, then hopped to my shoulder and eventually took off...I was 18 months old.

So part of my daily PT is to go out and put out my bird feeders. We have a lot of black bears around so I only do this while they are hibernating(and they woke back up with the northeast warmth). So I get out of bed and head out...I have 3 feeders that go up right outside the house so I can watch them. Reaching up to put them on their hooks is a great stretch for first thing in the AM. Then I head to the garage to get the rest of the feeders and put them up...more stretching and walking on uneven ground. Then I put out seed to a dozen ground feeding areas while the birds swoop down around me. Had one land on my head the other day. Then I reverse the process at dusk with more stretching and walking on uneven ground. After dinner, before hands get too sore, I cut up bread and suet for the morning so I don't have to do it in the AM when I first get up...too stiff.

But it's been a treat to do. I finally get to slow down and smell the roses...or the birds. For those of you who have to work, find ways to slow down during the day. I worked right up until I broke my neck 9 years ago.....often 12 hour days. I made my coffee breaks and lunch/dinner breaks my down time when I just relaxed away from others and rested my joints as much as I could with ThermaCare wraps that I'd leave on the rest of the day. Heat and little movement for half an hour really helps. Make lunch easy to eat and make coffee in a mug with a huge handle so you can put your entire hand through the handle and not just a finger or 2. If hands are bad, I used to use an oven mitt with a ThermaCare inside and just sit and bake my fingers. Kept oven mitts in my desk along with the ThermaCAres....which you can cut down to size to fit an oven mitt as long as you don't cut the metal areas that make the heat.

It's amazing what you can find to help you unwind and treat the joints when you really think about it.....be creative.

hugs......Jen

Love Thermacare wraps. They are a regular item on my shopping list. I keep them in my car and in my purse. They have allowed me to be mobile when other wise I would be miserable. They rank right up there with the twin size electric blanket I keep by my recliner.

I have had this disease 17 years, and I still have no idea how to pace myself.

My husband is trying to convince me to get some bought pizzas for a family gathering at our house tonight. But I have a reputation to maintain for my great pizzas. And I do have help with grating the cheese, so what can I say?

On top of it, I just decided to do some Christmas baking. My hand are in agony, I am icing them right now. Tonight I will be a worse wreck.

But still, it is Christmas and my family is here, I will have time to regret it later. (I think the years of having my RA under control have made me a bit delusinonal. I can't bear to think that this is going to be the rest of my life.

Marlene, I've had Ra for 38 years...yes, you'll have it for life and if you keep on torturing yourself, you'll end up hurting more and more and sooner or later your family will resent you for dumping so much guilt on them. I know...I did the same thing and that is what happens. I finally learned to put myself first once I broke my neck 9 years ago...I had no choice. Adult kids are much happier with meas as is hubby.

And RASally...you are so wise but there is nothing wrong with being permanently disabled. I am. Once paralyzed, you may be able to work it so you can move again but the muscles tire easily and if I have to stop exercising , the muscles start to lose their strength very quickly. It will come back the older I get.

So I'm okay with what life has given me. Having almost been killed as a child, and almost died when I broke my neck, I am just happy to be alive. You can fight just so much and then you accept what is wrong and learn to live well in spite of it. And accept that I am permanently disabled.

gentle hugs for your wisdom and friendship.................Jen

Every time I see my rheumy she says "you have to learn to pace yourself" and "you can't do things the way that you used to." Ugh, I just want to scream. I continually tell her I am learning to adjust but for someone who has been very active their whole life (45 years old now) it is very hard to learn to slow down. I also tell her "if I cut down on things anymore I might as well be dead as I don't do three-quarters of what I used to!" I hate the "pace yourself" speech. Good luck. I know what will happen if I don't rest enough but I am so head strong and think I got this whooped. Then RA kicks back and lets me know that it has me whooped. Ugh! I have also learned to say Rheumatoid Disease instead of RA because the reaction is a lot different.

Much love,
Dana

I just want everyone to know that I did assign a lot of jobs to other people today and everyone seemed fine with that. Christmas day will be another day to get some help. I also did not do the cookies, just the butter tarts, which was a good move.

I am glad for the reminders of everyone in this forum that none of us is probably able to do it all. Or at least some of us are not able to do it all!

We have to learn to pace ourselves. Life is a marathon, not a sprint! I'm still trying to figure this out myself.
On another note, I love homemade pizza. So much better than frozen. I just buy dough. Too hard to do all that kneading.

Juls

Iteach, your so right. Learning to pace ourselves this time of the year can be hard. What you can manage one point you can't the next.
I'm thinking at one time or another most battle with giving something they enjoy or perhaps those small traditions.
Marlene you may regret the work in one way but in another it brings you pleasure or you wouldn't do it. One more year your family enjoyed your hard work. You never know when it will be the last year your up to the challenge.
I'd truely hope to never experiance resentment for making a choice.
Maybe I can't manage a fraction of what I used to do but. As lord knows what this disease can rob us of. Yet we still make choices, with good intentions. We live & learn.
If I knew it would put me in bed of course I'd not choose to do it. Yet if it simply caused me to ache a little more then usual I may indeed choose to do that extra special something. Then again that's me.
With that said I'm thinking this may be the first year I turn Christmas dinner over to my girls.
Debbie hope your feeling better.
Sammy

I feel for all of you - and for me.
In Sept, I started a new job as a school receptionist. I sit, get up once in awhile, but it's the least taxing job I could ever hope to find. And yet, when I sit and type too much, I get a swollen wrist for two days. Or a finger that's triple it's size.
I've found that my 1mg prednisone pills are not enough to cut the edge, but 3mg do ok in getting me back in shape in a day versus three.

I know I need to go on RA med, but I'm quite scared again since TNFs are out due to the liver enzyme issue from Enbrel.

It's so easy to see the situation from the outside - like the wrapping - 5 hours is so much! Gift bags might be a better way to go.
And the pizzas - well, I know that the homemade ones are what everyone wants, so maybe homemade cut tiny as as appetizers for a couple pizzas but the rest can just be a local order.
But who am I to even be looking at what you are going through????
I do the same thing, just in a different way.
I hope we all can find a balance so that we mourn what we used to be a little less, ache a little less, and recover a bit quicker. That's sorta where we will find out new norm.