Glad to hear you have had a good summer. Bet you have your hands full with three. I only have the one at 16 that just got his drivers permit. (Oh boy). This is his third week back to school where we live and I can relate. He has been wearing me out with helping him study his homework in the evening after I have already pulled an 8 or 10 hour shift. All I wanna do is kick back in the recliner and catch a break. I know it sounds lazy but sometimes it's hard to mustard up the strength. Haha. I would think twice about stopping your meds since it sounds like your combo is working well for you. Things can come back in a hurry. Good luck on the daily grind.

Pw

I'm a newby with all this RA stuff, but I agree about not stopping your meds. From what I understand, we have to stay on them forever to keep things under control.

I'm hopefully at the end of a weeklong flare from coming off my MTX. It has been horrible! I will never do that again!

I'm a retired teacher, so I know what you're going through. I think you're doing amazingly well to be able to still do that demanding job. Your body needs a rest after that kind of day interacting with children all day long.

Your kids are old enough to understand if you explain to them that Mommy needs to rest to recharge her battery after school. You can still be with them, just maybe reading or something quiet and restful while they're doing their homework.

My heart goes out to you. I know it's hard. But definitely stay on those meds! Also, do I remember you from the fibro board?

Hugs,
Elizabeth

sure wish I had some great words of wisdom here.
The meds of course are a must.
It's a plus that you had a good summer. Of course the demands are not there like now but it's a indication you have some decent control.
No matter working & having children are part of your life.
Finding a system that will allow you to spend some qaulity time & rest will be a challenge. I don't envy you. Yet they are of an age you may want to focus on engaging in a way that allows you to put your feet up.
As you adjust they'll adjust to mom needing a break. Not sure you'll be left a lot of options. Rest is a must when the body demands it.

My heart always goes out to those raising kids. Life's a balancing act as it is. Throw something is with your health & no matter how hard you try that balance will shift.
Caring for my grandson has me walking in those parents shoes. I can tell you my recliner & I have spent a lot more bonding time.
Have found myself sleeping in the thing before I can make it to bed.
Yep I give you a huge amount of credit & respect for tackling 2 very tough jobs.
Oddly enough some can adjust. It may not be the easiest task but it happens. If the meds work it's a huge plus.
Grab you time whenever possible.
My thoughts are with you. Feel free to vent when ever the need arises.
Be sure to take care,
Sammy

Really glad you had a good summer and your meds do seem to work for you. That in itself is something to celebrate.

I agree with the others - your children are old enough to understand why you may need to take a break now and again. You might even build it into your schedule like some people build exercise into their schedule.

Teaching and raising kids are enough to send most healthy people over the edge. You are doing a great job, but you do need to take care of you first or you are no good to anyone else. I had to learn that the hard way. It isn't selfish - it is self preservation.

Don't go off those meds please. Sounds like you have a pretty good combo.

Linda

Balance? Forget about it. You're dreaming if you work full-time in a particularly exhausting job and have three kids yet think this mysterious goal of "balance" is attainable.

Confession time: my guys are 19, 20, & 23, I work full-time and although I have a husband who was good about pitching in, he was out of town at times and had a major health crisis in there. It was a zoo. Most of the permission slips got signed, clean socks were always available, and some semblance of dinner hit the table regularly. We were not candidates for a spread in "House Beautiful", although I still think we'd be great on the cover of "Shack & Hovel". There are times where crisis management is as good as it gets. Other times, management is impossible and you just have to let the crisis bloom. It'll pass.

So what to do? First, stay on your meds!!! They are why you felt well this summer, and the return to school period is not a good time to see if you're OK without them.

Second, take a hard look at what you define as "actively engaged". That might need to include flopping on the couch with a tall cold glass of something for half an hour when you first get home. Forget about that dumb cow in the Humira ad who is shown squeezing oranges for juice and playing soccer with her kids. That's just not life for most of us, even with effective biologic treatment. Even for people without RA but with jobs it's stretching it.

Some of the best, closest times I had with mine were in the car. Being silly with the bunch of them, or having quiet, intense talks with just one on the way home from a music lesson, teenagers especially will open up in a car like no place else. Find activities that don't take much physically but are important emotionally.

Yours are getting to the age where they won't want to be seen in public with you anyway, and before you know it they'll be out the door. The years fly, just like they say, and you're right to try to make the most of it. There aren't any second chances on this one. Figure out what is most important to you and to the kids and keep that at the top of the list. Perfectly decorated cupcakes for every school event? Didn't make the cut at my house. Spending a Sunday evening on the couch in a tangle of arms and legs watching a movie and eating popcorn? That one went on far longer than I might have guessed.

Your kids are old enough to understand that you have health problems. If you haven't, let them in on what it feels like. They are old enough to help with the heavy lifting. They will be better people for having had to develop some compassion and an understanding of another's limits at their current ages.

Oh, and third: look around and lower your standards everywhere! The dust bunnies and weeds won't hurt anyone, and they'll still be there when the kiddos are gone.

actively engage meant I was in the car with them.

I shot up the mtx at work, and the biologics at work (fridge in locked office)

i never went in the house on weekdays when returning at night fall or past night fall - regular long office hours plus one hour commute - I honked ( no spouse no supplemental assistance at the ponderosa). they came out. we ate dinner in the car 2 out of 5 school nights and I slept in the car while they were at enrichments. i also let them use a second computer or second laptop or second printer in my bedroom which means I was laying down in bed half awake half asleep while they were doing stuff for school.

here comes the next thing and you are going to laugh: i let them practice both trumpet and saxophone (I know I know) while I slept on the couch - yep. i know. i cooked NO DINNERS alto. i purchased stuff that was already cooked and ripped apart. on the weekends I did do suzy baker to make up for being a crap of a single mother.

we are sick while we are living.

i do not believe that we stop living to be sick.

i had a very sarcastic tongue and I was so patient I was half dead. that is the gifts I gave the house. i had an open door and extra kids every night because I had no standards. :)

you hang in there. however you can eek it out, it's perfect, FOR YOU

hugs
depot

Thank you all for your replies! I'm immensely grateful for your information and ideas. It's great for me to hear from those that walk in my shoes...well mostly :). You are all right about not stopping my meds. A hairbrained idea, I know!
Depot, the trumpet and sax? That cracked me up! Elizabeth, I don't have fibro. It must have been someone else.
You are all heroes. Wow, what we go through hey?
Have a great night all. As suggested, we are all in my bed watching tv!

Juls

And one more thing. For all you single mother's, there is an extra special place for you wherever you believe we go from here!