It seems like since the diagnosis and beginning the meds, I have been hurting every day, especially in my feet.  Maybe I am just noticing what was already there more now that I know why I feel this way.  I remember days and months like now where my feet hurt so bad in the mornings, then it went away.  I had all but forgotten about it until now, as my feet seem to hate me in the mornings.  On my left big toe, the bone on the big toe is beginning to poke out.  I really need to type these journals when I get up before the stiffness gets better, then I would better be able to explain how it feels.  Sometimes I want to describe the discomfort, stiffness, and pain as if it is like my period, but instead of just my lower stomache aching and cramping, its my whole damn body.  Then other times, it is like a headache or hang over, just everywhere.  The flares for me are like I got beat with a hammer and am recovering from so many blows, each spot swollen, bruised, and painful.  Unable to bend my finger, my toe, my knee, my whatever at the moment. 

I want the Dr to do x rays or whatever test.  I have only been to the Rheumatoid Dr once so far and have only been on the meds now 3 weeks, but I want to know exactly what my starting point is.  Has there been any damage already.  Based on my feet pain and the Sjogren's Syndrome dry eye issue, I have had this all for a while, at least the past 3 years, maybe longer.  I feel like if I know exactly how my body is NOW, then I and the Dr will know better how to be proactive in attacking RA rather than waiting until it has continued to attack me, destroying me little by little. 

Just a thought, I know no one knows for sure, but I keep trying to figure this out.  How? Why?  So my ex Father-in-law got RA a couple of years after he moved in with me and my ex.  His was pretty bad and it attacked his lungs.  He is no longer with us.  The house I lived in had a very bad mold issue due to major roof damage and bad repairs.  I believe it was black mold.  I moved from that house in 2012 and the mold had been there from 2009-2012, unable to get rid of it.  I ended up having to throw out all of our clothes and anything I owned that was cloth (furniture, etc...)  Could there be a connection between RA and mold, or is it genetic somehow - even though no one in my family has it. 

I am angry, I don't want my feet to be messed up in the future.  I want to be able to walk.  I want to be physically able to care for my disabled son, not have to hire someone to care for both of us.  I know, I know, I am jumping the gun and getting ahead of myself.  I can't help it.  I watched my ex Father-in-law go from participating in life just fine, to 3 years later in hospice and deceased.  His hands went so fast.  My Dr says the treatments have changed since then, but I am thinking it was only 2009-2010.  That was not that long ago. 

Fatigue, other than being normally tired like any person experiences, I don't have that kind of fatigue.  I wonder though if fatigue can be when I go to walk after sitting or laying for awhile and my legs just feel like jello and want to tell me that they don't feel like going anywhere. 

Very stressed out about this whole thing.  Sorry for the rambling.