Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group

Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...

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twyliah 04/07/2016

Hi! I'm not new but haven't posted in a long time. My current diagnosis is undifferentiated Spondylarthropy with enteropathic symptoms. This flare is in my eye, probably uveitis, I go to the opthamologist in the morning. I was supposed to babysit my grandson tomorrow and then go out of town to a women's conference for the weekend. I can't do either. My sister is mad at me for cancelling last minute and my son is frustrated that I can't keep my grandson. I'm feeling a little sorry for myself and need a little support.

sharmomnana 04/08/2016

Hi,Twyliah. I'm sorry about your diagnosis and flare. That's difficult enough. When others don't understand, it makes things more difficult to handle. Unfortunately, you can't control when a flare is going to happen and you can't control others disappointment when your plans must change to accommodate the disease. All you can do is tell your family what is going on with your health. They will have to decide how they handle their disappointment. You don't have to take it all on, though. You have your own disappointment to contend with, in addition to taking care of your health.

So today is a new day. Leave all of the negativity behind and move forward to take care of yourself.

Blessings,
Shar

fibrolizzy 04/09/2016

Boy, do I understand! I deal with the guilt of disappointing people when I have to cancel, too. But I'm trying to get past that. I will say my guilt doesn't last nearly as long as it used to! I keep telling myself that I am the only one who knows how I feel and what I can and can not do. They can't understand, because they are not in my body. So I try to tell myself that it's their problem, not mine.

I do hope you feel better. Believe me, I've been in your shoes many times. They will get over it.

gdsonn2 04/09/2016

Hello - so sorry to hear about your frustrations. It's so hard sometimes trying to take care of yourself and everyone else in your life. I know family tries their hardest to understand, but unless they too have a chronic condition, they just don't get it sometimes. You have every right to be feeling a little sorry for yourself and needing support. I got into a fight with my husband this weekend - I'm in med school and have an exam on Monday. So I need to study this weekend. But I take MTX on Saturday night and will be useless school-wise (MTX brain fog) on Sunday, so I need Saturday to study. He was mad that I wouldn't take Saturday off to hang out with him. It's so hard sometimes trying to balance everything and still put yourself first when you need to.
On another note . . . can't help myself, it's how my brain works from being in med school, but has anyone ever looked into the possibility that you have MS? Uveitis is HIGHLY associated with MS. Just a thought. Sorry for butting in where not asked! :)
Hope things start looking up soon!

twyliah 04/24/2016

Thank you for all the kind responses! I have mostly gotten over feeling sorry for myself and am feeling better. Hi RASally!

californialynn 04/24/2016

Beware! I'm the one who says it like it is.

Shame on those who cannot understand [nor will they take the time to understand] that our disease waxes and wanes. YOU come first. Let them put their big boy panties on and just deal with it.

[You'll notice RA has made me very assertive! :-) ]

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