Sick of it all? Wishing it didn't exist? Hoping that the damned disease had slunk off while you weren't looking? Yeah, been there, done that.

Last week I convinced myself to not refill my methotrexate: it had doubled in price since the last batch, I have to buy about 4 months worth at a time, I'm seeing a new doctor soon, haven't had labs drawn in too long as I'm between doctors, and it's a truly ugly color. Screw it. It hasn't even been a week, though, and I'm going to go get it tonight. I feel fairly awful, so it must have been doing some good, ugly yellow color and all.

These drugs are unpleasant to take and can be really dangerous. They are expensive, and staying on them means frequent trips to the doctor, frequent blood draws, and all the accompanying bills to pay. I think you would be hard pressed to find someone who hasn't been sorely tempted to quit for a bit.

Ah, it must be something in the air..... had just this same thought!
Current meds. keeping things somewhat in check, at least can get on & off toliet without assistance(major advancement) But a Flair reared it's ugly head............. so of course the thought for the day was
WHY BOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, That some kind of way is spot-on!!!
No other way to explain THAT feeling. I am sloooooooooowly getting
it, this demon RA messes with your head!

Well I take 8 pills in the a.m. and 6 pills at night and then the shot on Monday a.m....I got tired of the opening of the bottles too.. So now I have a large pill box for the week, that holds all of the a.m. meds..Have a smaller one for the nite pills.. Only have to fill it once a week and I can also tell if I forgot to take them that day.. I know the minute I do something wether I took them or not... One day a week I have to take an extra pill and I have to use my inhaler twice a day too.. I have an alarm set for the nite time inhaler as I forget that one...I should know better...I know I have to stay on these meds or I would be in way worse condition and I am pretty satisfied with the way I am right now... Hang in there..keep the faith and pop those pills... Have a good day

This is a very familiar feeling for me. I've gone weeks without taking my meds before. It always ends up biting me in the butt but it does get depressing to think that I have to take them.

I know that I am not alone in the way I feel. I am very thankful to be able to vent my frustrations to people that truly understands. Thanks everyone!

Hey Ty, when I feel that way,which is often, I skip taking a vitamin and this makes me feel like" I showed you,ha ha!" Silly but I don't skip a real important med but I get some sort of satisfaction. Hang in there, your feelings are normal I think.

Some kind of way!?!!! You are so not alone. I went to get an MRI this morning and they asked me to list my meds. Normally, I have either my ipad or a list from my primary physician that I carry in my purse. Because I've been in so much pain I am neither carrying around my ipad nor a purse but a little wristlet which I can't actually hang around my wrist because it too hurts way too bad.
So I begin to write out the list by hand. Yes,with the hands that are KILLING me. Fibro also has attached itself to me along with a few other diseases. So I entered 10 meds but beause of the "fog" I'm sure that I missed a few.
10+ meds and I still feel like crap! Why bother? Are they really helping? Are they the right ones? I am spending 75% of my FSA on MY treatment. 99% of our health insurance pays for MY treatment. But MY treatment isn't giving me relief. Why bother?
Well, I've tried going on strike before and honestly you only have to experience that once to realize that consequences of that action. I like the suggestion of skipping a vitamin so you feel in control.
I'm not in control and I am feeling some kind of way!!!
With all of that out, I am still quite grateful for Life and a reasonable portion of health. It really could be worst. When I look at the bill for the infusion every 6 weeks and it is $18,000.00 I realize how blessed I am to have options to treat the diseases that have attached themselves to me. I realize that I am not defined by them and I have come to accept that they are part of the baggage I must take on my journey. My journey must be completed. My journey will be completed because I'm determined to LivingInSpiteof RA!

I hate taking the meds also. I get sick of dealing with insurance companies controlling my life. Last summer I was able to stop my meds for the summer. I did ok because it was warm out. Just used some Advil once in a while. Then when fall hit and the aches and pains started getting worse so I started taking my Enbrel again. I might try stopping them again this summer. I don't like taking them the full year.

I take my MTX every Saturday night and every week I have to steel myself up to it.
I hate it, but I hate feeling like crap even worse.
Every week I tell my husband, I really don't want to do this.

It has nothing to do with giving myself a shot, either. I learned how to give injections when I was 6, as my mom is a type I diabetic. Plus I've been in vet med for 18 years.

I just HATE what MTX does and how I feel after I take it.

Hugs

I can imagine what kind of way you are feeling. I think altoclef summed it up. The thing is you may feel fine now and then wham it hits you. When the pain and discomfort hit it is difficult to get on top of the pain. Be careful. Would it be less foreboding if you put the pills in a weekly receptical and put the bottles away? Just a thought.

I'm glad to see this.
Its a strange but I feel the same.
Figuring out exactly why? A couple reasons. Perhaps is the my life depends on the meds, or at least the quality.
I simply can't believe at times its my life & these meds are for good.
I have skipped injections & meds but usually because of facing the side effects. I don't anymore as it caught up with me.

I do get it, for various reasons.
Sammy