So sorry you're feeling so tired. Could be weather, after Christmas tireds, family stress or all put together. Our family around us sees us in pain everyday that I think they become too accustomed to seeing us like that and do not realize how bad we are really feeling.

Maybe someone outside your family would be to talk to about ways you can get support. This board has helped me a lot, sometimes just to vent. Rest for yourself. Simplify! Let go of tasks that you can delegate or make easier if you can.

Ashley,
It can be hard when we're facing extra challenges , and not having sympathetic ears nearby doesn't help. Right now, its OK to not worry about your mom. Take care of yourself and remember that here is a place where folks DO understand. Sending good vibes your way,

Ashley,
I can just imagine if I were still working, with small children, along with everything else there is to do. You should give yourself alot of credit for all you do get done with this disease. I had to stop working 3 years ago, my children are grown and out of state and I have an amazing supportive spouse and its STILL hard for me to deal with my RA at times. I do think that depression comes with this disease for alot of us. Maybe you can find some YOU time and see a professional to talk to. Even just once a month can be very helpful, that's what I do. I've found that talking to those people like your mom who don't get it is pointless. Stick to the weather, etc. with them. Vent here when you need to, we all "get it".
Huggs,
Joanie

Thank you all so very much, Your replies have really helped. I am glad to have found this site.

You are in a tough situation, and I am so sorry. This is really hard to do, but To Thine Own Self Be True. You know how you feel, and they don't. If they don't want to help, then they should just be quiet, and not criticize. Perhaps you should print off some RA literature for you mom to read...??? I do try a couple of times before I give up trying to help people understand. If they still don't get it, though, I don't waste my time. It breaks my heart that your mom is not supporting you. She could be such a help, especially since you have to little ones. As for your husband, have you considered taking him with you to an RD appointment Many people have found that very helpful and enlightening for their spouses. I hope you feel better soon, Ashley. You have so much on your plate. Be kind to yourself.

Hugs,
V

It's been said so many times, and is worth saying again. You don't get it, unless you "get it". And let's face it, we wouldn't want anyone to "get it". It doesn't mean we have to sit back and take the comments though.

It would hurt so much when my kids would say things like, "Moms RA ruins everything." They aren't old enough to understand just how much of a toll this beast takes on me. So I've tried to make some compramises. When we do things as a family now, we do it early in the day when I am at my best. I take rests at amusement parks and zoo's, while my DH goes ahead with the kids.

The trick to RA is re-learning life. Don't give up on it, just find new ways to live it.

Hope things get better soon. In the meantime, simply envision givine them all a good set down.. LOL

-Tanya

oh I am so sorry you are having one of these days. I pray things get better. It is so hard to have a disease no one can see or feel. and yet sometimes I wonder if I really would want one someone can see. It is hard. Hang in there! Don't give up. And like someone posted: to thine own self be true... ONLY you know your body.

I feel for you. There are times I think families believe we just should get used to functioning & living in pain. They just don't understand everything that's involved. Its not only hurting physically but mentally draining & god knows its very easy to just want to throw your hands up & say " I give up".
Sounds like your plate if full & its not an easy life for someone dealing with RA or chronic pain.

There are some things out there to try to help others understand.
I can't say if it would help your family but there is the "Spoon Theory" & another called "letter to normals".

Joining you for a doctor visit can really open a family members eyes. Maybe giving your doctor the heads up that your family just does not understand. I'm going to bet they have heard that more times then we could imagine.

My husband attends visit with me at times, although I have a dreamer in my husband & he convinces himself I'll get better or will continue to manage no matter what. The doctor does help though to explain certain things.

Either way it makes it so much harder when those closest to us are not understanding. I'd love to say mine is but only on my toughest days. If they only knew how much we need that understanding & support.

Very hurtful to work so hard in pain & feel not one ounce of respect & understanding. Kind of like what am I killing myself for? Been there done that & ashamed in some ways to say still do.

Just Thinking of having younger kids, working, running a house is enough to make me want to jump back in bed & I'm not kidding.
You have my ear & understanding if you ever just want to vent.

As for the weather I am 100% convinced it can take an already bad situation & turn it into a nightmare for people like us.

I truly hope things improve for you.
Blessings, Sammy

Thank you for the advice and support, it has been such a comfort. things are looking up at the moment :o)

Weather can make big difference in how I feel. I can tell a storm is coming day before it gets here. This board has really helped. Helped me to vent, get advice, and just chat. It has also helped my husband in that I can complain to this board and not him all the time. There for awhile, I felt like that was all our lifes had become-talking about my RA.

I like what Tanyan said about "re-learning your life". You can still do things just need to try to rest more and simplify your life. I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with this with kids. I agree your mom could be a super big help to you with kids. But if she is asking,"What's wrong now?" Well, she might not be much help with that attitude. Perhaps you should take your husband and your mother both to Rheumy's office.

People just don't understand how you feel until you have RA. They think joint aches; they don't know about the fatigue. Also, they don't understand how upsetting it is when you can't do the things you used to do.

Stay with this board. Ask anything or vent. They are a big help.

Did you say what medications you are taking?

When I have days like you describe where you can hardly push through, I reward myself with simple pleasures. For example, for getting up and grooming or taking a shower, I will sit under my heated throw and sip some hot chocolate (with whipped cream). For walking to the mailbox and sorting the mail, I will listen to my favorite CD. I also use positive affirmations to keep from giving in to the pain... "Pain does not control my life" or "I am worthy of love and acceptance". I know it sounds corny, but reframing your thinking really works.
Maybe your doctor can refer you to a Pain Management Clinic or a support group (face to face). Good luck, and we all face challenges with pain and are here to help one another. Don't give up.

I am taking plaquenil, methotrexate, and prednisone. The prednisone is basically "as needed" and I try to stay away from it. I also take motrin reguarly.

*bump*

*green healing light*