Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group

Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...

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tycamisaiah3 02/08/2013

Sooo....all of my family were together this week due to death in our family. I thought it would be a good time to tell them about Daily Strengths. I was so excited to tell them how much I enjoy the group, how much I've learned from others about this disease and the awesome people I've met! I was excitedly telling them about it and one of my family members said "why do you feel the need to connect with other people that have the same problem as you? Why would you want to share with people you don't know, your thoughts and feelings"? She said "I don't have to tell people how I feel". This family member is older and quite ornery and I love her dearly but that hurt my feelings.I realize each person is different but gosh! Some of my other family members thought it was "nice" but showed little interest. Don't get me wrong,our family is close and love each other but I don't get any support from them.I've decided to not tell them anything about what's going on with me because clearly they just don't get it.
It's disheartening that no one understands how I feel even when I try to explain AND now you want to shoot down the fact I found a group of people that understands. Wow! I can't win for losing.
Thanks for listening!

ILoveHuskies 02/08/2013

Sometimes family members can be harsh. Some people act like they are not interested in your problems but let the same thing happen to them and they will want the whole world to listen. My husband understands my pain better now because he had a case of bursitis flare in his shoulder. He thought it was very painful. Now he knows what I feel when I have a flare. It is easier to talk to people who have the same disease. They understand better what you are talking about. I get support from my family but I still like talking on here. I have learned so much about side effects from these meds. Everyone here has a different knowledge to bring to the table. I like the fact that some of the people here are nurses.

deleted_user 02/08/2013

I guess thats why DS is here for us, because the only way to get people to hear you is to talk to people of like mind. DS helps... a lot... I appreciate them and who ever developed it. I hope you dont get too discouraged, it isnt your familys fault, human nature takes over quite silently and effectivly.

MKP1952 02/08/2013

A lot of us here know what you mean. I do not talk about it, at all, with my family. They all have been blessed with really good health, and can not begin to understand. I pretty much do not talk about it with anyone, for the same reason.

RCross 02/08/2013

Sadly I think a lot of people can't truly understand a disease that isn't always visible, or that a little pill can't fix. It's taught to us if you're sick take medication and it goes away. That's just not the case with auto-immune. We need to find support where ever we can...including DS. Don't let them get to you....someday they'll realize and will come around.

bcatz 02/08/2013

I think your family's response is pretty common. My family would say the same - basically, "you have us and our support, why do you want the opinion of a stranger, aren't we enough and be careful who you talk too. " LOL

Just know that knowledge gives you power, so even if you don't come here for support, the lastest breaking news on RA is here! :) That's what I'd say.

tycamisaiah3 02/08/2013

Thanks everyone! I feel a lot better after reading your comments!

deleted_user 02/08/2013

I'm a therapist. The lady that proudly told you that she "doesn't share her feelings" is in very sad shape. One can never develop an intimate relationship unless transparent feelings are shared by both parties.

Consider the source dear. Would *you* want her life?

Tis a waste of time and energy to give her one second more of your thoughts. Don't let her rob you anymore.

warmly,
Wendy

deleted_user 02/08/2013

We need a bumper sticker that says "Yes I'm in pain and You Just don't GET IT".

I don't say much to any of them... just for that reason..I have 1 s.i.l. that gets it...God Bless her... the rest are ho hum or why can't you do that yourself?..

Hang in there...we get it....Gentle hugs to you..

deleted_user 02/09/2013

That's exactly why were here. Sometimes people just don't understand if they can't see it or have it themselves. But everyone here understand your pain and how hard it is to get others to understand. Don't worry we got you.

Take care
Avis

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