I haven't been on the board for a while, but I always know where I can turn to when no one else seems to understand. Despite being treated with mtx and an infusion I rarely find relief. It has been 5 years and a month since I was diagnosed with RA and I will say that things are 500% better than prior to treatment. I really thought by now I would be in remission or at least stable. It seems that every once in a while we have to increase this or give that more frequently. I have a loving husband whom I've been married to for 22 years who will do everything for me, if I want. Really, I just want to be normal. I don't want to focus on the pain, limitations or frustrations. I dont want to give RA more space in my llife. Hubby reads everything he can get his hands on especially working for clinical research, he asks me all day everyday how I'm doing or what my pain level is now. I cry myself to sleep at night because i do not have good pain control. And now I'm struggling to walkhd to pull ou that old faithful cane for a week vefore my hands we too swollen and sore that i cant hold it anyway. My pcp sent me to a neurologist as she suspects i may also have MS. i dont have the heart to tell my hubby that. As if RA isnt bad enough, it came with fiends-fibro, dry eyes and mouth. My legs are so weak some days that i basically have to drag one leg and even then I'm praying they just sont come from under me. Iwant live in spite of RA.