Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group
Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...
I haven't posted here in quite some time. I find that when I'm doing well I don't visit much but when I'm not, I know I can find support here.
Having been diagnosed with RA some 3 years ago ( I think) and Fibro a year or so ago, I find that I have learned to accept my new reality, at least most days.
I take an infusion every 8 weeks, methotrexate, folic acid. I have yet to be in remission. I usually keep a journal of my symptoms etc but feel like sometimes that just adds to me being focused on the diseases. So when I had my infusion a visited the physician last week, I only told him of one new symptom as it is become problematic-elbow pain. So during his exam he looks and touches the elbows and says he wants me to have labs as I have nodules (go figure-another symptom) and he asked if I had any more lumps. So what did I go home and do-search for more lumps.
I didn't mention to him that I can't sleep because the pain is so bad or that I have chest pains everyday now or that my vision is blurry most days or that if someone even touches my shoulders I'm nearly in tears or my dry eyes or ear pain or sore throat and dry mouth or that fatigue is back in a major way. I know, I probably should have told him but why is it that I feel like I'm bothering him or that I am just complaining when there are so many others who have it much worst and quite frankly I really don't desire to have yet another diagnosis. My hands hurt so bad ALL of the time now but writing this post is therapeutic.
I'm tired of meds and would like to consider massage, chiropractic care, accupuncture, tens and other modalities. I'm fairly certain that the insurance that allows me to pay only $10 for a treatment that costs $17,000.00 every eight weeks would surely cover some if not most of those expenses as well. Why don't I? Because I do not want to have the disease take over my life.
I dare say that sometimes it gets downright depressing-there I said the D word. Who wouldn't be depressed after being in pain for a long period of time?
I REFUSE to let this disease stop me. I WILL overcome and Live in Spite of RA.
Having been diagnosed with RA some 3 years ago ( I think) and Fibro a year or so ago, I find that I have learned to accept my new reality, at least most days.
I take an infusion every 8 weeks, methotrexate, folic acid. I have yet to be in remission. I usually keep a journal of my symptoms etc but feel like sometimes that just adds to me being focused on the diseases. So when I had my infusion a visited the physician last week, I only told him of one new symptom as it is become problematic-elbow pain. So during his exam he looks and touches the elbows and says he wants me to have labs as I have nodules (go figure-another symptom) and he asked if I had any more lumps. So what did I go home and do-search for more lumps.
I didn't mention to him that I can't sleep because the pain is so bad or that I have chest pains everyday now or that my vision is blurry most days or that if someone even touches my shoulders I'm nearly in tears or my dry eyes or ear pain or sore throat and dry mouth or that fatigue is back in a major way. I know, I probably should have told him but why is it that I feel like I'm bothering him or that I am just complaining when there are so many others who have it much worst and quite frankly I really don't desire to have yet another diagnosis. My hands hurt so bad ALL of the time now but writing this post is therapeutic.
I'm tired of meds and would like to consider massage, chiropractic care, accupuncture, tens and other modalities. I'm fairly certain that the insurance that allows me to pay only $10 for a treatment that costs $17,000.00 every eight weeks would surely cover some if not most of those expenses as well. Why don't I? Because I do not want to have the disease take over my life.
I dare say that sometimes it gets downright depressing-there I said the D word. Who wouldn't be depressed after being in pain for a long period of time?
I REFUSE to let this disease stop me. I WILL overcome and Live in Spite of RA.
I'm so sorry things are as rough as they are right now. Is it possible that the infusions are not working, and that it might be time to try something else? I would definately talk to the doctor about everything you are experiencing.
I hope you get to feeling better soon! Take care and God Bless!
-Tanya N
We have all been in that overwhelmed place, and letting some of those feelings out helps so much--esp when you know the people "hearing" you understand.
Know you aren't alone, and that you CAN handle this one minute at a time.
Hang in there......Marianne
the understanding makes a world of difference... Hang in there :O))
I loved reading your post. It felt like it was healing for you to write it down, to put it out there instead of always holding it inside.
You dared to say the depressed word. Say it louder. When the fight in us is worn down depression slides in and sits waiting. Depression needs us not to tell the doctor whats really going on. It needs us to feel like we're bothering people or just complaining.
There are times in our lives when we are just ready. I sense that you are. You can listen to the lies depression tells us or you can reach to the healing that is there, also waiting.
Which will you choose deal lady?
Yes its hard as hell.
Yes you have to call upon the core of strength that is deep within all of us.
In conjunction with your meds or a full med review with your doctor there are many ways to make this reality better......find what works for you .....herbs, dietary modifications, massage, hydrotherapy, tens, meditation, counselling, physiotherapy, natural pain treatments, naturopathy, mud baths, stress reduction, Kefir, supplements, CBT, homeopathy, Reiki healing, accupuncture, osteopathy......the choices and combinations are many.
You don't want this disease to 'take over your life'. I love that. You have a fire in you. Use the fire...... let healing 'take over your life' instead.
You have insurance. You have the intellect. You have reached the place where you are ready.
I say this with a gentle smile and a kind heart
get on with it then
Refuse to let this disease stop you
Overcome
Live in spite of RA
How exciting this next part of your life could be.
Namaste
My hope for each of you is that you fight the good fight, that you get relief from pain, that you don't loose hope and that you walk this journey each moment at a time measuring the sunrises and sunsets, love received and given, and whatever else you value. Know that by responding to my post, you have encouraged me to go on.
That is the very reason I joined Daily Strength. We can draw strength from each other daily.