Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
This isn't anything I'd like to start in the immediate future because I already have plenty of other things that need my attention and focus right now, but I've never been one to let grass grow under my feet.
I'm wondering about continuing publication, and I have several ideas to consider:
A revision of Resurrection after Rape. I'd like to remove some aspects of the book, and enhance others. When I wrote it, I focused a lot on a handful of very specific cases, with additional input from countless others. I'd like to reverse that focus, and instead amplify the group focus of the book. You know, make it less about Persons X, Y, and Z and more about the collective, equal efforts of a dozen people together. I'm enormously proud of the work and the input that people made to the first edition, whether it was in the form of a single paragraph or whether it was someone whose work was traced throughout the book from beginning to end.
A textbook edition of RAR. This would mean starting a whole new project, one aimed at graduate students in counseling/social work programs. There just aren't any current textbooks about treatment of sexual trauma; the best one I know was was written years ago (and costs $40 or more). I've been asked to travel around Oklahoma and conduct all-day trainings with crisis workers/counselors so that the "RAR Method" becomes the default treatment technique used here. But most therapists have NO training on sexual assault treatment, and make some very common errors. Or they proceed with good intentions but little clinical understanding. Why not write a book that trains student therapists, and market it to a textbook company?
A brief paperback book about "sexualized grieving." I coined the term because this is hardly ever mentioned in any literature, yet several times a week just here on DS the question is asked: "Why did I become promiscuous after my rape/sexual abuse?" There is so much shame and taboo about this, and not one single book I know of addresses it. If survivors could find a brief book that explained this, it might be very reassuring. It seems like a HUGE area of survivor's shame that is just waiting for an antidote. And a few DS members have already offered to help.
A book of religious inspiration for survivors, specifically targeted to the religious book market. You'll hardly ever catch me in a Mardel's bookstore, and I'm not likely to read a lot of Rick Warren, Max Lucado, or TD Jakes. But it also seems apparent that there just aren't many good books in religious bookstores that offer any support for survivors. I looked: there are a couple of recent ones. The others were written in 1990 and earlier. But the ones that o exist are autobiographical by survivors; there just aren't any that offer current research-based information with a dose of spirituality. It seems to be another HUGE omission in literature for survivors. Being a social worker and an ordained minister might help me write such a book.
Any thoughts or advice?
I'm wondering about continuing publication, and I have several ideas to consider:
A revision of Resurrection after Rape. I'd like to remove some aspects of the book, and enhance others. When I wrote it, I focused a lot on a handful of very specific cases, with additional input from countless others. I'd like to reverse that focus, and instead amplify the group focus of the book. You know, make it less about Persons X, Y, and Z and more about the collective, equal efforts of a dozen people together. I'm enormously proud of the work and the input that people made to the first edition, whether it was in the form of a single paragraph or whether it was someone whose work was traced throughout the book from beginning to end.
A textbook edition of RAR. This would mean starting a whole new project, one aimed at graduate students in counseling/social work programs. There just aren't any current textbooks about treatment of sexual trauma; the best one I know was was written years ago (and costs $40 or more). I've been asked to travel around Oklahoma and conduct all-day trainings with crisis workers/counselors so that the "RAR Method" becomes the default treatment technique used here. But most therapists have NO training on sexual assault treatment, and make some very common errors. Or they proceed with good intentions but little clinical understanding. Why not write a book that trains student therapists, and market it to a textbook company?
A brief paperback book about "sexualized grieving." I coined the term because this is hardly ever mentioned in any literature, yet several times a week just here on DS the question is asked: "Why did I become promiscuous after my rape/sexual abuse?" There is so much shame and taboo about this, and not one single book I know of addresses it. If survivors could find a brief book that explained this, it might be very reassuring. It seems like a HUGE area of survivor's shame that is just waiting for an antidote. And a few DS members have already offered to help.
A book of religious inspiration for survivors, specifically targeted to the religious book market. You'll hardly ever catch me in a Mardel's bookstore, and I'm not likely to read a lot of Rick Warren, Max Lucado, or TD Jakes. But it also seems apparent that there just aren't many good books in religious bookstores that offer any support for survivors. I looked: there are a couple of recent ones. The others were written in 1990 and earlier. But the ones that o exist are autobiographical by survivors; there just aren't any that offer current research-based information with a dose of spirituality. It seems to be another HUGE omission in literature for survivors. Being a social worker and an ordained minister might help me write such a book.
Any thoughts or advice?
The last book, one targeted to Christians in particular is something I've considered doing myself. I've looked and read one or two and they were autobiographical (which is 'okay') but my need has been broader than just knowing someone else relates. (I by no means undervalue that... I've found it essential in my healing journey! But I also need more than that. I think all of us do and that's why RaR has had such a large impact.) I found nothing in the Christian genre that was a workbook/encouraging/down-to-earth-lets-get-busy-and-heal type of book.
I've written a few bible studies, but never anything along these lines. To be honest, the thought is slightly terrifying. Mainly because I don't want to write drivel (syrupy Christian'ese antidotes) and that's easy to do with this topic because the realities are so harsh and ugly.
One day not long ago, my pastor was over and we were talking about rape. He had the audacity to blurt out that I should write a book that would help others. My quick comeback was that I'd thought about it, but I feel stumped on what exactly should go in it. I can't solidify an outline, chapter sequence in my head that works. He got a huge grin and said he was good at that kind of thing and would gladly help me out. So, I suppose he's going to hand me a list some day.
Maybe one day there will be two helpful books in the Christian market place. One by you and one by me. Leitha could write one, too. We'll swamp 'em. lol
I'd like very much to see a revised RaR, written as you describe it above. I think that would be awesome!
And heck yeah on the text book. I've found it intriguing that so many on D.S. have gotten RaR and are taking it with them to their therapists, to see if they'll go through it. It strikes me as a little bit sad that the clients are needing to introduce their own therapists to a better education on rape, but I'm so glad it's available to them to do that!
And by the way, I think it's highly unfair that you're only traveling/speaking in Okla. RaR is too vital to keep it contained in just one state! In my opinion, every crisis center and church in the country needs a copy of this book. And no, I'm not kidding.
I would really like reading a book of religious inspiration. I had a stong religous foundation and after my rape...I stuggled ALOT with what I had learned about faith, belief etc. What he put me through contradicted all that I was taught about the goodness in God and people. I found some comfort meeting with a clergy person....but this meeting took place only after years had passed and I only after I had my rape resurface and I was struggling in a big way.(The meeting was extremely difficult to sit through too) The section in RAR was helpful, but could have been more in depth....a book of religious inspiration for survivors is a great way to expand it.
Those are my thoughts...
The textbook idea might be good, because I have indeed noticed people on DS bringing it to their therapists. One of our members here "caught" her therapist using it! She recognized the wording and activities the therapist was using...
The "Person X, Y, and Z" method makes a very compelling approach to the text, but one unfortunate effect of doing it that way is that it elevates X, Y, and Z to the status of instant role-models, which is a lot of pressure. I used this approach in RAR because I was VERY fortunate to have met some eloquent, hard-working, and passionate people who said, "by all means, use any of my story that would help! Use my journals! I'm so proud of this!" Which is an awesome blessing. But people, relationships, and circumstances change, and it's not fair to focus so much on only a few people as if they are the icons of survival. None of us is perfect, so it might send the wrong message to uplift imperfect people as the only type of role model this community gets to see.
no, but really, any of those ideas would be of great help, but thats the one that I would love to see printed.
And I agree that however you write the next book should be a collective approach. Just to change things up :)
I've got to say that what I do like about the current version of the book is the fact that you get to "follow" the progress of a couple of people through therapy - to me that gave it an emotional connection, part of what made it an encouraging book to read.
As long as those people are still happy for their stories to be shared publicly, I think that's something worth keeping. Maybe you could find a way to keep that side of it but still broaden it out to show how group sessions tend to work? Just a thought.
As for the spiritual book, I'm sure a lot of people would find that useful.
For the sake of fair play, I just feel I should mention there have been Jewish and Muslim survivors on DS as well. Is it possible to include texts/perspectives from different faiths without making it appear like a random collection of "nice" but meaningless platitudes?
A purely inspirational gift book, made up of nothing but letters from survivors to future survivors.
I could even lay it out, graphically, the way it is in RAR: the original handwritten page in the background, with the text of each letter superimposed. Easy to read, classy, and yet with a "personal" feel by seeing each contributor's handwriting.
I could even include photo-representations of some of the art and collages of some of the writers.
I have a bunch of those letters already, but not enough for a book. But if this is a good idea, I could launch the project.
There is a book called "Voices of courage" made up inspiration from survivors of sexual assault, but it's mostly about their own experiences, written as chapters. Nothing exists that's written TO the reader/survivor, and certainly not with the personal feel of hand-written letters collected into a volume.
The only obstacle I could see is that people who contribute would have to be willing to donate their letters for free use, not for profitable royalties (ha ha! Profit on a book like this?!!). The women in RAR did that, and even the two main individuals featured in the book repeatedly and staunchly REFUSED to receive any payment for the use of their stories and journals. But perhaps just the personal benefit and honor of being part of such an endeavor might be enough for some; Lord knows I'm not making big money on this stuff either. Books on topics like this just break even. Do you suppose there would be interest in such a topic?
My Husband and I attended a weekend retreat to work on our marriage and it was a rough weekend (in a good way). The highlight of the weekend was coming back into the conference room for our last breakout session on the last day to find an envelope on our chairs. In it was a hand written note from a couple that had attended an earlier retreat weekend. The letter contained a short description of their marital troubles, the peace they found at the retreat and an update of their marriage and their continued work on their marriage. We found that piece of the retreat instrumental in solidifying our committment to working on our marriage.
I like this idea.....
all are appropriate books, but the "this is how you fix yourself" genre isn't something you can pick up right away...an inspirational book from people that know what is going through our head at every point in recovery from the hours after, to years down the raod...ah Matt you have to do this!! I'd be happy to contribute anything you would need
I would be honoured to help in any way for any of those projects. I have already left in another of your threads scriptures that have helped and encouraged me. I have so many quotes that have helped me sometimes to get out of bed. I have so many things written "from me to me" about healthy love and what it SHOULD NOT BE. I have a past journal entry about 'sexualized grieving'. (Please feel free to read it) Please count me in on all of it. ( and no I'm not a fan of TD Jakes, or Rick Warren, or Max Lucado.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
I want to help and I can only imagine how helpful it will be for me too.
COUNT ME IN!!!!!!!!
An inspirational gift book?!?!?!?! YES YES YES. When do I start??
NO I DON'T WANT ANY ROYALTIES. I DON'T WANT ANY KIND OF PAYMENT TO HELP OTHER WOMEN (and men - James) WHO HAVE SURVIVED AND ARE LOOKING FOR A LIGHT, A HELPING HAND.
Actually... I wonder if some letters from 'those that love a rape victim' might not be a great thing to include, too. Something to ponder?
So now that I have I have to ask first off....lol were you talking about my therapist when you said someone caught theirs using the book? :P..
And secondly, I myself would love to have a book with letters from survivors to other survivors. That's my personal favorite part of RAR and I do sometimes just flip to that and read them because idk..something about someone saying "Hey I survived and this is my letter to YOU!"
I haven't written this letter, because I'm sorta afraid to (as silly as that may sound) because I fear that what I write won't be what someone needs even though I was unsure if I'd even show it to anyone I still feel like if I write a letter it has to be in a such a way that I expect someone to read it. Anyway I'm babbling.
I think I want to attempt to write one and if you do decide to compile all these letters perhaps I could show you what I come up with and if it's up to par use it. I would absolutely love the idea that someone somewhere who's going through hell might read someone I write and feel inspired...like so many women here have done for me!
-Kardy
Oh...P.S...Money????? Personally I'd find it an amazing honor just to be in a book that's focus is empowering and inspiring women who are struggling. :)