Shannon, I'd love for you to borrow my copy of "Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters."

Along with the Ann Coulter book I am re-reading, I have started what seems to be a tragedy turned triumph non-fiction called "Color Me Butterfly", by L.Y. Marlow, also reading segments of a book on the relevance of our position in the family.

Oh, and Matt, there is a great older book I found on my shelf. I thought of you immediately, entitled "Bugspit Chronicles" by Doc Markin...'Welcome to Dilbert's Forge TN, where newlyweds pick out a pattern of jelly glasses along with the bride-to-be's maternity clothes, and where a man's success is largely judged by what model car he has sitting on blocks in his front yard'. It is a hoot, but has some very real, heart-string moments as well. I plan to re-read it when I finish with Coulter. It is one I've had for awhile, if Amazon has it, it's probably on the 'we'll pay you to read it' tab!

You're reading Ann Coulter, huh? Do you realize she is trying to encourage you to reject and mock everything I stand for? (examples of her ACTUAL beliefs: liberals lack spirituality or morality; women should have the right to vote rescinded; the word "faggot" is acceptable political discourse; feminism is for ugly and angry women; liberal males are girly and lack strength and confidence; etc.) That's like me saying "I'm reading porn" and hoping you think it's funny that I am. She is political pornography.

Ouch! Ummmm, I don't read into it quite what you describe. What I get FROM it, is mainly where the views I oppose come from, why THEY feel the way they do, blah, blah, blah. I trust my own intelligence enough to know that what I read doesn't seep into my brain like some icky green slime and overtake the intelligence God gave ME! I am sorry I commented here about what seems to mightily offend you. But the comment about pornigraphy I don't find funny, not in either respect, and what you have said here did not come at a good time for me. I am sorry to have offended, to have commented, to have assumed there was an approved list from which we should be choosing our material from. PS, the sentence I wanted you to read was about bugspit, not Coulter, although you seem to hold the same view of her. Again, may I say OUCH!!

Continued from reply #19: How, by the way, did you come to your opinion of Ann Coulter if you, yourself have not read her words? Did you see her on FOX News? Does she live in your neighborhood? I am not offended by what you said, I am hurt physically that you equate my ability to read and understand, and actually process information, and come up with a view all my own that speaks to MY beliefs. You asked what we were reading now. I answered, and now I feel like I have been assaulted with words like pornography, and that I somehow equate that with humor. How can you have read ANYTHING I have ever written here, or what you included in your book, and come to any conclusion about me that would make you think I think pornography is comedy, and the conservative views Coulter ascribes to are Gospel? I want to say 'How dare you' here. But, you mean too much to me as a person for me to use that term as an attack on something that struck a nerve with you.

But, in all fairness, you have stung me in my core with your comments. I am already in a low place here in my life, and for that I seek help everyday. I read with vigor and enthusiasm the words here of so many souls just like me. I am struggling with a life you know little to nothing about, and that is as it should be, you are not my therapist, but, you are my friend. It is in that regard that I say I am sorry for my offensive reading material, but it isn't pornography, nor is it political pornography, it is my choice to read it, to believe or disbelieve it, to research it and prove or disprove it. That's why I am American. But before I was American, I was human, and as a human, I never want to take anything I say or do lightly when another human is involved.

I did not mean it as an attack, or some nasty locker room discourse. I was attempting to direct you to Bugspit, not Coulter. Not everyone will agree with either you or me. But, as simple human adults, I hope you can accept my apology for what I never meant as insulting. And right now, I am going to throw up, because my activity here on DS for the past two days makes me physically ill.

Your words sting me to my core Matt. "That's like me saying "i'm reading porn" and hoping you think it's funny that I am.

I literally feel like s**t!

Wait, you are hurt PHYSICALLY by the fact that I dislike Ann Coulter? I really don't know how to respond to that.

Look, I don't like her. She is the diametric opposite of every value I have--every one. I'm not faulting you for reading her (I have, which is how I know her positions), but I claim the right to state that I dispute every social and moral position she utters. That makes her, not you, my adversary. Unless you identify with her more than I realize, my disdain for her has NOTHING to do with me and you. I used the phrase "like reading porn" VERY deliberately; do you realize she treats people with values like mine the way porn treats women? I'm being VERY serious here; Ann Coulter's view is that Liberals [as she defines them] have no redeeming human or social worth, are mindless and LITERALLY soulless, are perhaps even poisonous to society, and should be avoided and certainly not taken seriously. At best, they serve a function as objects - not people - for amusing derision and exploitation as a form of entertainment--but certainly don't respect one.

And you're hurt by me pointing that out? Why? I've been a steadfast advocate for you, for every survivor, for everything you are, for everything every woman can be. Ann Coulter would not do that for me in return. If there were a writer who mocked and smeared everything about YOU, would I read them and think they're funny? Of course not. You want a standard for me that I'm just not able to figure out: I advocate for YOUR respect and empowerment with everything I've got, but someone else can attack everything I stand for, and yet when I oppose that critic YOU see it as a personal rejection. Is there some twist in these rules I'm not in on?

Here's what I HOPED would happen: "Hmm, this writer attacks people like Matt. I used to think it was amusing, but now I know Matt. I wouldn't dream of entertaining this literature anymore, because it aims to harm a person who works tirelessly for people like me."

Here's what appears to have happened instead: "Matt stands up for us. I tell Matt we can be honest. Matt dislikes a writer who smears his values and laughs about it. Matt says it feels pornographic to be treated that way. My response is to take it personally and tell Matt how hurt *I* am, because it's supposed to be funny for people to rip apart Matt's values. But nobody ever better do it to mine."

Can you see why I am confused??

Our discourse here, I don't believe is helpful to anyone else. You messaged me, (thank you), and I you. I hope we can agree that I overreacted to the equate of Coulter to porn, and my feeling you were attacking me becasue of it. I overreacted and was wrong to have done so. This isn't political, and it isn't right or wrong. I just made a big deal out of a little one, and for that very thing, I am famous.

So Matt, if you can, forgive me. You said you read Coulter and drew your conclusions from that, I said I am reading Coulter, and doubtless will arrive at the same conclusions, or many of them as you. This is me waving a white flag and hoping you'll understand I am having issues right now that effect my actions, but are no excuse for being too sensitive in my own regard, and insensitive in your's. Can you forgive me?

Here's what I thought:
"Hmmm This Coulter woman seems to think she's got the Liberals pegged, and has written about it. I'm politically progressive, need to be better informed, remember reading that book, will take another looksee, maybe I'll be moved enough to REACT".

Here's how it became a calamity (in my opinion, skewed as it may be),
"Boy Matt's really emphatic about this Coulter woman's book, other than the stuff he lists, which I haven't gotten to in the book yet, he really thinks it's offensive for me to read it. Why is Matt so [angry] that I am reading this book that Matt would say it equates to him reading porn and joking about it?"

I can't really figure that out, since I HAVEN'T READ ANY OF WHAT HE'S OFFENDED BY YET!

Can you see why I'M confused? It's like I attacked you and what you stand for by reading a book, but, I don't know the content of the book, so how would I know it is offensive to you? Hmmmm. All I can do, is pray you'll forgive me for the fallout from this, and hope we are both adult enough to lay it down. Man, this and that Sorority thing...sorry again, no harmful intent was meant, ever.

And I am so sorry for the PS, but I never thought anything another person writes attacking the values that make you the therapist you are today, was, as you say....amusing. Remember, I am re-reading the book. I read it just after it cam out. Its been awhile since then....I DO NOT have a photographic memory and I am basically unaware of what is in the book. But, to be dependent on another's opinion of a writing in order to chose whether or not to actually read it.......? Isn't THAT offensive to us all?

I thought you said that you like it when other's challenge your ideas, means they are thinking for themselves, other than it not being a client/therapist kind of thing, how is this different. Please, read the bugspit comment, that's all I really wanted to tell you about......

I've housekept this thread just a bit to keep it tidy and nice.

But as the group founder, Ann Coulter is not allowed to join DailyStrength! That's my rule!

SMILES, ONLY SMILES you wonderful man! Thanks for housekeeping, but could you look in aisle 12....please :)!

*****TRIGGER WARNING******

I am so sorry, but the book I refered to called "Color Me Butterfly", although it is probably a beautiful story, I found it quite triggering before I finished the 6th chapter.

Not triggering regarding rape, but regarding the discipline of the family children. I have journaled here on DS about my family's idea of discipline when I was a child, some of you agree your's was handled the same way. Apparently, we were not alone in the experience.

The book describes the naked beatings [with a belt] of the children of one of the earlier generations in the book (there are four).

I had been reading it in bed, and, also having some recent personal issues...well, it is quite triggering. A 3 yr old is also forced to eat a rat that was caught in a trap becasue the 'father' whom the children came to call Isaac instead (good reason) was punishing him for wetting the bed.

In six chapters these tragedies take place, and I want to get to the triumph part, but, I had to lay it down.

So, again, it is abuse triggers here, not rape trauma, at least not yet.