Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
Let's refocus our attention onto progress toward healing, and less effort on hashing out all the disputes that come up here. We all know people don't always see eye-to-eye on all things, but that is not a required condition for healing. It seems we're doing a whole lot less work on opening and cleaning our own wounds than we should. Rape recovery is achieved with meditation, thoughtfulness, creativity, courage, God, and compassion, not with bullhorns.
Look, I really love you all. I mean, REALLY love you all. It pains me to see amazing people lose even a moment of the astonishing successes I've seen you all achieve.
When we see an attitude surface here that rubs us the wrong way--and we will--let it go. Those irritants are far less important than our collective strength, and to give those things any power to distract us is a self-harming choice because it replaces our growth with the energy-wasting melee of hurt feelings, terse replies, and other stuff.
We're all human, so I'm not calling anyone out because, hell, I get mired down in this stuff like anyone. Even Jesus' disciples, being given the gift of amazing testimonies, drained it away by bickering about who was greatest, who would sit on God's right side, etc.
So try this for a week: keep posting on RAR to on-topic contributions that promote healing. Let's get back to question-and-answer about research, journal writings, poetry, healing music, unraveling parenting issues, and--dare I ask it--working through the book maybe. and for extra credit, I challenge you...no, I DARE you...to write encouraging and helpful posts even to people you've had clashes with in the past.
I'm never going to stop being impressed and caring deeply about all of you here, and I just want to see us work as a tribe again.
Remember, I'm in a GOOD mood these days, and mine wrath shalt thunder down upon whosoever doth piss thereupon!
:)
Look, I really love you all. I mean, REALLY love you all. It pains me to see amazing people lose even a moment of the astonishing successes I've seen you all achieve.
When we see an attitude surface here that rubs us the wrong way--and we will--let it go. Those irritants are far less important than our collective strength, and to give those things any power to distract us is a self-harming choice because it replaces our growth with the energy-wasting melee of hurt feelings, terse replies, and other stuff.
We're all human, so I'm not calling anyone out because, hell, I get mired down in this stuff like anyone. Even Jesus' disciples, being given the gift of amazing testimonies, drained it away by bickering about who was greatest, who would sit on God's right side, etc.
So try this for a week: keep posting on RAR to on-topic contributions that promote healing. Let's get back to question-and-answer about research, journal writings, poetry, healing music, unraveling parenting issues, and--dare I ask it--working through the book maybe. and for extra credit, I challenge you...no, I DARE you...to write encouraging and helpful posts even to people you've had clashes with in the past.
I'm never going to stop being impressed and caring deeply about all of you here, and I just want to see us work as a tribe again.
Remember, I'm in a GOOD mood these days, and mine wrath shalt thunder down upon whosoever doth piss thereupon!
:)
Personally, I like knowing why something I've been written has been deleted. It helps me avoid similar future mistakes. A few times, it's made me realize that some people really are too heavy-handed with the delete button and it's not worth my time contributing. I really don't think that is the case here.
I also suggested that posts have been removed where there was no conflict at the authors request
I agree that it must be a difficult job being a editor and mistakes will be made but that is why I think we should be open to discuss these decissions
I've also deleted posts at the request of the post's writers, which isn't always explained to the board at large, which may make it appear to others that it was arbitrary when it wasn't (for example, I removed the thread that Wasit started here a couple of days ago--because SHE approached me with the request. It was not a "punitive" deletion in any way). There are also moderators (NILY, Mockingbird12, StarbuckDifranco) who might choose to edit some content too, so I'm not exclusively making the determination myself.
Thanks for understanding, everyone!
All that I see here being suggested is that posts created with the SPECIFIC intent of calling to the carpet conflicts that certain members have with each other will not be tolerated. I think theres a monumental difference between someone saying "No, I don't agree with that line of thinking and here is why.." in a response to a post is anything out of line or grounds for removal from the boards. I do think that posts entitled "F*** 'so and so'" and then the entire context of the post is specifically about a personal conflict, should be removed immediately, because like Matt said, that is NOT why we are all a community.
We are all going to disagree, and we are going to have conflicts with certain members of the board. Personally, as a lay member of the board I would appreciate any conflicts that someone may have with me personally to be brought to my attention via the chat function or a PM, and I have a hard time believing that anyone else here would want the opposite of that. No one comes to RAR to feel attacked or publically unwelcome. I think we need to uphold our function as a group, which is rape trauma work. We can respectfully disagree in a post on issues that pertain to rape trauma. But posts specifically for the intent of stirring up disagreements and conflict? I wouldn't stay in a group where that was tolerated.
I also agree with removing threads when the originator asks for it to be removed and I don't need to know why. I know I have occasionally put things out there (online) and then had second thoughts and regretted it. I would have loved to have been able to have them removed.
Just wanted to say thanks, Matt. I am SO glad to see steps/effort taken to keep RaR a friendly, welcoming, safe place for us to discuss rape recovery. Thanks to each of the moderators, also. Your work is truly appreciated.
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/argument-room
(Also, I am not being sarcastic by posting a link to the "argument room." I mean it with sincerity, that this is a group established specifically for DS members to use for grievances and arguments.)