Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
I've been thinking about some of the spiritual questions that are often confronted during recovery from betrayal trauma (such as rape, abuse, domestic violence). One of the questions that a lot of survivors seem to have is how to manage their hatred toward their perpetrator, especially if they have been indoctrinated to believe that hate is sinful or wicked. How, they wonder, can I love God and hate my perpetrator? Will God condemn me for hating someone? How can I love a God who loves the person who violated me?
These are crucial questions, and something tells me that the streamlined "God loves everyone and you should too" answers aren't sufficient. I think we need to explore a more mature, more thoughtful, and more honest theology of God, justice, hate, and love. I am no calling for a new pronouncement that endorses "holy hate", but I do think survivors deserve much better answers to these questions.
I'd really appreciate input from diverse spiritual starting points, including multiple Christian perspectives (fundamentalist, liberal, Catholic, Protestant), Jewish, Muslim, Indigenous (tribal), and even "undefined" spiritual beliefs.
Here are my religious stuck points:
If God brings us into interconnection with all life ("Gakina Awiiya"), are we forced to acknowledge that this connection also includes our perpetrators?
I have heard that "God loves everyone." If that is so, it includes perpetrators of betrayal trauma. How can that be? Is there an answer more sophisticated than the old "love the sinner/hate the sin" slogan, which just seems insufficient to me?
Does the holiness of God somehow diminish if we perceived God as being capable of hating, say, a child abuser or incest perpetrator?
If God DOESN'T hate them, what positive message can God still offer the survivor? How can I truly see God on "my side" (if I am a victim), if God seems to have total tolerance and grace for my perpetrator?
Is "hate" perhaps the wrong word? Can it become too poisoned by things like bigotry, cruelty, and misogyny to use here? If "hate" is not the right word, what word does describe God's feelings toward perpetrators and rapists?
I'm not asking people to answer all of these like an essay exam; these are just MY starting stuck points. I'd like to hear your beliefs, though. Respect for all who are willing to divulge their private spiritual discernment here!
These are crucial questions, and something tells me that the streamlined "God loves everyone and you should too" answers aren't sufficient. I think we need to explore a more mature, more thoughtful, and more honest theology of God, justice, hate, and love. I am no calling for a new pronouncement that endorses "holy hate", but I do think survivors deserve much better answers to these questions.
I'd really appreciate input from diverse spiritual starting points, including multiple Christian perspectives (fundamentalist, liberal, Catholic, Protestant), Jewish, Muslim, Indigenous (tribal), and even "undefined" spiritual beliefs.
Here are my religious stuck points:
If God brings us into interconnection with all life ("Gakina Awiiya"), are we forced to acknowledge that this connection also includes our perpetrators?
I have heard that "God loves everyone." If that is so, it includes perpetrators of betrayal trauma. How can that be? Is there an answer more sophisticated than the old "love the sinner/hate the sin" slogan, which just seems insufficient to me?
Does the holiness of God somehow diminish if we perceived God as being capable of hating, say, a child abuser or incest perpetrator?
If God DOESN'T hate them, what positive message can God still offer the survivor? How can I truly see God on "my side" (if I am a victim), if God seems to have total tolerance and grace for my perpetrator?
Is "hate" perhaps the wrong word? Can it become too poisoned by things like bigotry, cruelty, and misogyny to use here? If "hate" is not the right word, what word does describe God's feelings toward perpetrators and rapists?
I'm not asking people to answer all of these like an essay exam; these are just MY starting stuck points. I'd like to hear your beliefs, though. Respect for all who are willing to divulge their private spiritual discernment here!
I will enjoy thinking over this I think. I like to think deeply about things not directly related to "it". I know that I believe God is loving....I don't like....well, not "like" necessarily...but the word you used above..."tolerance"....I will admit to His grace, but I get the word 'tolerance' stuck in my head as a thing God doesn't do.
I am working on some issues right now, but I will come back to this, because I wish I had someone who could counsel me spiritually...not to sway me, but to aid me in understanding. Thanks Matt...this is a good post! :)