One part of me says "She's doing a good job of loosening up people's definition of prayer." Another part of me doesn't connect at all to her description of prayer.

I think it is because I don't view prayer as a separate activity from anything I do. All life is a prayer when it is lived aspiring to be our best possible kindest most just self. Prayer is less about God and more about connection. God enters into it , if at all, as a way of expressing the deepest, fullest, possible connection to all that is.

Every ritual we do, whether religious or not, is a prayer whether it is helping our kids to bed or making dinner or even getting up in the morning. In Judaism there are "prayers" or blessings to acknowledge the holiness of various quite ordinary daily acts, but the blessings are inseparable from the acts. There are other blessings for things we have seen or experienced, but they too are bound to something for they can only be said after we have seen a rainbow or an exceptional good deed or survived a threat to our lives. They can't be separated from the experience of living.

There are songs and words of praise that form part of daily "prayers", but the key element isn't the words of praise, but rather the standing still to listen and think about what is beyond us and around us, behind us as a source, and before us as a destination. There are pleas for God's goodness in the world – for healing, for health, for sufficient income: but we are partners with God. The pleas serve as a beacon of hope for the things beyond our control but also a reminder of responsibility for the things we do control.
The idea of doing something just to be "praying" seems strange to me. Prayer just isn't in my mind just isn't something that stands on its own. It is always connected to something.

Looking again at what she is calling prayer, despite its creativity, it is too narrow. I'd see the list as more as a list of constructive and creative ways to use the mind and faith to help one grow and change. there is in element of prayer in such a list because it reflects a yearning and willingess and hope for change. There is much more to prayer that can connect us with a world and a community beyond ourselves.

Prayer in its fullest sense to me needs to both honor ourselves and go beyond ourselves:

If I am not for myself, then who.
If I am only for myself, then who am I.
If not now, when? (Rabbi Hillel, 1st century BCE)

Learning to see prayer, however we do it, as a resource for going beyond ourselves and our personal development is an especially important opportunity for trauma survivors. Trauma disconnects us from so much and prayer has such a powerful potential to reconnect us, not just to ourselves, but to our fellow human beings, and the world and life at large.

One part of me says "She's doing a good job of loosening up people's definition of prayer." Another part of me doesn't connect at all to her description of prayer.

I think it is because I don't view prayer as a separate activity from anything I do. All life is a prayer when it is lived aspiring to be our best possible kindest most just self. Prayer is less about God and more about connection. God enters into it , if at all, as a way of expressing the deepest, fullest, possible connection to all that is.

Every ritual we do to sustain life, whether religious or not, is a prayer whether it is helping our kids to bed or making dinner or even getting up in the morning. In Judaism there are "prayers" or blessings to acknowledge the holiness of various quite ordinary daily acts, but the blessings are inseparable from the acts. There are other blessings for things we have seen or experienced, but they too are bound to something for they can only be said after we have seen a rainbow or an exceptional good deed or survived a threat to our lives. They can't be separated from the experience of living.

There are songs and words of praise that form part of daily "prayers", but the key element isn't the words of praise, but rather the standing still to listen and think about what is beyond us and around us, behind us as a source, and before us as a destination. There are pleas for God's goodness in the world – for healing, for health, for sufficient income: but we are partners with God. The pleas serve as a beacon of hope for the things beyond our control but also a reminder of responsibility for the things we do control.

The idea of doing something just to be "praying" seems strange to me. Prayer just isn't in my mind just isn't something that stands on its own. It is always connected to something.

Looking again at what she is calling prayer, despite its creativity, it is too narrow. I'd see the list as more as a list of constructive and creative ways to use the mind and faith to help one grow and change. there is in element of prayer in such a list because it reflects a yearning and willingess and hope for change. There is much more to prayer that can connect us with a world and a community beyond ourselves.

Prayer in its fullest sense to me needs to both honor ourselves and go beyond ourselves:

If I am not for myself, then who.
If I am only for myself, then who am I.
If not now, when? (Rabbi Hillel, 1st century BCE)

Learning to see prayer, however we do it, as a resource for going beyond ourselves and our personal development is an especially important opportunity for trauma survivors. Trauma disconnects us from so much and prayer has such a powerful potential to reconnect us, not just to ourselves, but to our fellow human beings, and the world and life at large.

Good points. I think most people see prayer as a brief ritual they do. The concept of one's all-emcompassing life as a form of prayer is a more advanced notion. So I tend to fall closer to your view than hers, but I also agree with you that at least she's done a very good job of opening the issue to a much more broad understanding.

I think you could swap her religious or spiritual role models for anyone in your life that you admire. So I'm not entirely sure it even discusses prayer but much more rooted in mindfulness and living life now as we want to; rather than waiting for a miracle or higher power to bring this we person to our being.

When we say to ourselves, I'm going to strive to be more like this person, are we praying for te change or are we honouring ourselves not only with a goal but with a knowledge that it is somewhat achieveable - evn when we are not sure how we will reach our goal. I think it is after that point where we "pray" pr begin to look outside ourselves for the strength and courage we need...or for our inner power to come to the fore and help us achieve.

For me praying is like recognising not everything is within my power or at least not at that point. So I make a commitment to listening for the answers to my questions; being open to deeper symbols and accepting of love. I include the love the world around me can offer. I don't think we need a god for that even though the process is similar to religious prayer.

I was thinking some more.. The prayers I have experienced in a church or classroom never really felt like prayers, maybe the lack of connection felt?

In the sweatlodge ceremony, if i remember correctly, a lot of the ceremony is more about thanks - that is the bit i remember more so. There are prayers of askance but also prayers of thanks...or more a conversation. That's what it felt like; a conversation and I actually felt like I may be gifted with answers. I think that is what you were getting at about being partners with god, elisheva?

Before I started looking at what spirituality meant to me, the messages I received about related to God in prayer were more about asking God for things. A part of that does cover an acceptance of power outside outside of ourselves (not power in the sense of higher power) but it rests uneasily with me. I think it is something about the lack of personal empowerment I associate with it.

The only real time I have asked of god was a time of desperation. I felt many times of desperation and I felt no connection or desire to connect to God; in prayer or otherwise. That one prayer, I asked for strength but I think the act of praying itself was a sign of strength rallying up in me. Not because I struggle to pray and the act of doing so required strength - but because it took strength to realise I didnt have all the control, that i needed help or faith or something.

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I'm not sure why but I find praying in the sense I used to know, much more about victim mentality. Rather than using prayer as a form of meditation..a private conversation with God to help you ponder and reach your own answers (even if you choose to thank God for providing you with the right questions/answers)..it is like waiting for people around you to fix you.

I'm sure many people will or could disagree with that but it is how I feel about it.