Relationship ER Community Group
This support group is for those who have been through a hard time due to a past relationship. The goal is for this group to be able to help those who are suffering to become emotionally healthy through the support of the group.
So I've been seeing this guy for a couple months. At first, we both agreed to the idea of keeping it simple, and just having sort of a FWB relationship. Problem is we never agreed exactly what kind of relationship we had. The mistake was not only were we there for each other physically, but emotionally as well, and we started hanging out with each other ALL the time. I started having feelings for the guy, obviously, because if you get along, and love to be with each other, and it is easy to talk with one another... why wouldn't I start to have feelings for the guy? He would tell me how much he cares about me too, he acted like he cared for me, and how he didn't want to hurt me. I ended up having issues with this open kind of relationship he claimed he wanted so we had a big blow out, and I didn't hear from him for a while. I went through hurt, anger, and all from what happened....then he decides to show up again. At first I was angry but then I started talking to him again. So now we are starting to see eachother again. The other day we were talking about relationships, kids, marriage, etc. and he asked me so how long have you been single before? I said well about a year since I broke up wih my ex..........he says well you've been with me you so you haven't really been single for long. In my head, I'm like what??? Didn't you say we weren't together, and he don't want anything serious? What is his deal? He's driving me crazy, and I feel like the more I try to talk to him and figure out what he wants the more i just get confused. WHAT DO I DO?
A friend tried to hook me up with this guy, who I immediately told I wasn't looking for a relationship, he said he wasn't ether and we agreed we could become JUST friends. So we started to hang out all the time and became really close, the he kissed me and we started fooling around. When I asked him what we were doing, he said he didn't want to put a lable on it. I was accomodating for like a month, then I told him I was falling love so I couldn't sleep with him any more. He said that was fine. THEN a little while later I started talking to another guy and he flipped out. He claimed that he thought I just needed a break, not that I was breaking up with him. And I was like WTF, you are the one that said you didn't want to be a freaking couple. So he blubbered on about how he wished he'd done things differently and how much he missed me and how much he cared about me. So we made it "official". But, it didn't last very long, because he refused to be publicly open about our couplehood. He said he wanted to avoid the drama of the shit talkers. So I broke up with him because I felt I was being played. We still remained best friends for a while until some of his women on the side started contacting me and letting me in on the secret that he was sleeping with like 4 girls at the same time. And you know what is completely crazy? They ALL knew about me the whole time. They didn't know about each other and I didn't know about any of them. I'm like WTF goes through a man's head???? I was VERY heart broken over that one, but I'm totally over it now. And honestly, the way I moved on was to start going on dates with other guys. When I asked male friends, they all say the same thing... He wants to keep you at his disposal but his freedom too, so he does what he needs to do to keep you around.
I would suggest you sit down and have an honest adult conversation with him to figure out exactly where you stand with each other, but I'm not sure men are even capable of this.So instead I will say I'm sorry you are going through this and I wish you the best of luck!
((((((HUGS))))))
Ask him POINT BLANK. Do not let him answer back in a question. Ask him a close ended question so he has to answer YES or NO. Don't take any other answer. That will confirm it. If he is "shifty" then chances are he may be lying to you ....