Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
almost 8 months out from dday.. today is one of those days, when i drive into work and think "I'm not sure i can today". no specific reason....just would like to hide away from life for a day
last night my wife and i talked as we have every night since dday.
we had a nice weekend away out of town.... then back home to the kids.
at some point i was thinking about the state of our relationship pre affairs....and wondered if the shoes had been flipped, would i have made the same choices she did
if i was unhappy...which i was....and disconnected...which i was...but what if my good friends who i trusted were telling me things that her exBFF told her....like encouraging me to have an affair...saying people aren't meant to me with just one person...what if this little bird kept telling me this....
would i have cracked ....would i have made the same decisions my wife made?
is it crazy for me to go thru this mental exercise?
what is the point?
its not that i am trying to be empathetic...its more that i am still searching for the WHY...the answer...and in a stream of consciousness thought process last evening, i imagined the roles reversed....
no. no answer presented itself to me
i want to hide away from life today
i really do
last night my wife and i talked as we have every night since dday.
we had a nice weekend away out of town.... then back home to the kids.
at some point i was thinking about the state of our relationship pre affairs....and wondered if the shoes had been flipped, would i have made the same choices she did
if i was unhappy...which i was....and disconnected...which i was...but what if my good friends who i trusted were telling me things that her exBFF told her....like encouraging me to have an affair...saying people aren't meant to me with just one person...what if this little bird kept telling me this....
would i have cracked ....would i have made the same decisions my wife made?
is it crazy for me to go thru this mental exercise?
what is the point?
its not that i am trying to be empathetic...its more that i am still searching for the WHY...the answer...and in a stream of consciousness thought process last evening, i imagined the roles reversed....
no. no answer presented itself to me
i want to hide away from life today
i really do
Good luck to you!
If your ready and willing to see the other side you can perk in at "cheaters anonymous" board. Be prepared because it can be rough. Some over there hsve very little remorse while others are heartbroken over the pain they've caused.
I've got much more empathy towards my husband because of the CA board.
I really feel anyone in the right situation has the ability to cheat. Not say will, I said has the ability. We are ultimately responsible for our actions, we have the ability to walk away also.. Some don't.
Did I cheat? Not exactly. But. Yes. Instead of trying to make the marriage work, I gave up. I went to my friends for support and affection and appreciation. I poured my time and energy into volunteering instead of trying to make things better. I gave up. And frankly? If a guy had come along and mooned after me, I don't know what I would have done. The opportunity was never presented to me because I didn't put myself in situations that would have allowed for it. But. If things had been different? I just don't know.
I wish I could say that I would have been faithful no matter what, but I know that's a lie. I was lonely. I was sad. I was resentful. A little attention would have gone a long way in that time before my husband's affair. *shrug*