Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
Back before I knew the entire truth, when I though my husband had just had an emotional affair, we needed a new dishwasher. I know that sound trite, but during the Holidays, all the kids come home, and keeping up with the dishes is a challenge. Very small kitchen, little counter space etc. Our dishwasher died, and we did without for about 6 months. I put my foot down and said I was going to get one before Thanksgiving. So I looked around, found the one I wanted, and took H to see it.
He ended up talking me into a lesser model. It works fine, but the racks etc. are just not what I really wanted. He had admitted to putting off some of the stuff we needed to be doing around here at that time because he "didn't know what he wanted...".
Now, everything I load that damn dishwasher, well not everytime, but a lot, when I struggle with the upper rack, I get pissed off again. Had he not been in that mental state, he would never have hesitated spending that extra $180 to get the one I really wanted.
I know it's stupid. This one works fine. It's only the two of us most of the time. But having to make sure certain cups & dishes are in the right places so they fit just make me crazy some times. I've told him that I'll never mention it to him again...I don't expect him to get me another one, especially knowing he could easily lose his job this year. I feel so petty and small when such a dumb thing trips me up.
I'm just ranting here. Maybe share stuff that you feel is silly, but is still a trigger. I can't be alone in this.
He ended up talking me into a lesser model. It works fine, but the racks etc. are just not what I really wanted. He had admitted to putting off some of the stuff we needed to be doing around here at that time because he "didn't know what he wanted...".
Now, everything I load that damn dishwasher, well not everytime, but a lot, when I struggle with the upper rack, I get pissed off again. Had he not been in that mental state, he would never have hesitated spending that extra $180 to get the one I really wanted.
I know it's stupid. This one works fine. It's only the two of us most of the time. But having to make sure certain cups & dishes are in the right places so they fit just make me crazy some times. I've told him that I'll never mention it to him again...I don't expect him to get me another one, especially knowing he could easily lose his job this year. I feel so petty and small when such a dumb thing trips me up.
I'm just ranting here. Maybe share stuff that you feel is silly, but is still a trigger. I can't be alone in this.
Strength and lots of hugs to you. Maybe airing it out each time you hit this "trigger" will eventually help you to get past the "trigger" itself. Why lose sleep over it. It's not worth it. You are in counseling and if he is trying sincerely, they look ahead to the good things that can be.
My partner likes to do that sometimes but it can be frustrating. I'll talk about getting pissed or something and he'll suggest something that's a little above and beyond. If this was a serious trigger you couldn't handle you'd totally be thinking of getting a new one ASAP but instead you've realized that it actually can be dealt with by viewing the bigger picture.
You are a super smart, savy, and compassionate woman. :)