My wife planned a special surprise evening for me last night. Something nice to show me how special I am. She went to the store before I got off of work, bought some good wine and fresh food and made a wonderful dinner. It was really niceâ¦
After dinner she sat on the couch, turned the tv on, found some movie and drifted off to sleep. I got to hoping maybe thereâd be some intimacy between us since Iâve been feeling absolutely horrible and undesired lately. It couldâve been a really good thing for us. Instead Iâm left wondering what happened to the night... again.
A typical evening for us consists of her drifting off very early on the couch before going to bed. So dinner was the special surprise. It was a great meal, yet weâve had it plenty of times. I really enjoyed it, but Iâm not sure how it was meant to stand out from any other night.
Every night I wish sheâd stay up and keep me company, but inevitably I end up feeling alone even when sheâs right there. Iâve expressed many times how this makes me feel, yet always the same.
And I donât really agree that the great meal was for me. She knows that I appreciate her cooking, but I am happy with macaroni and cheese. How extravagent the meal is isn't what makes it special for me. She knows that. She just really enjoys cooking. Iâm glad she finds passion in something and I encourage her in it. But my belief is that itâs for her. Yes sheâs cooking for someone to enjoy it but who it is that consumes it, I believe, is of little concern. I thought it was a great meal and I expressed that to her. She seemed more concerned with its presentation and explained how it couldâve been better instead of paying attention to how I felt about it. So in my opinion, dinner was a way for her to do something she enjoys, which is fine, but it didn't make me feel particularly special.
Maybe she just had a long day and was feeling tired. However, she worked less than me that day, and she didnât have to deal with her normal office workload. Not to mention she typically gets a ton more sleep than I do since I have trouble sleeping and she has her daily nap before bedtime.
I don't know what to say to her. She says she was planning a special night for me all day long and that she had good intentions. That's wonderful, but really, how am I supposed to feel after that? When it came down to it her usual routine set in and she acts like she had no control over it.