can you elaborate what you are looking for?

Its a huge increase in sexual behavior after the initial discovery of the affair. You will see it referenced as HB. Lost of accidental babies made via HB. Its kind of like you were first dating again.

Well the day after dday I initiated sex. H was surprised, and not totally on board, and in his own words felt unworthy of being with me that way. I was determined, and he is a man after all :) So that first night it was emotional, and couple times I had to push away mental pictures,, but not as bad as I thought it would be. But it was good,, not just the sex, but the bonding, the closeness. dday was nov. 9, we had not had sex since july, so just holding each other was monumental. I had missed him, even though he was here every day, he wasn't HERE, ya know. In trying to explain my feelings about the sex the next day , I told him I just had this voice inside me that kept telling me over n over that we needed to have sex,,, that we needed to restablish that bond,,that I needed to claim my territory as it were,,, both physically claim his body, but also imprint new memories with both of us, since the last sex he'd had was the one time with TOW. I wanted new file folders in the memory banks. Now at this point I had done no reading, or research, talked to anyone or anything,, but that was what I kept hearing inside. I don't know if the voice came from God or not,,, my lapsed catholic upbringing makes it alittle hard to accept God telling me to jump my h's bones,, but well ya know God has best sense of humor of all,,,soooo
Since dday we have had sex everyday( well minus a couple ya know) and sometimes 2,3,4 times a day. It seems it someways it hasbonded us and fast tracked us past some of the bs,,,,, but I guess after this rambling my question is, is it false? is it denial? Am I just being distracted?

That would be HB!

Enjoy it, but be careful.

A pregnancy now could compound any problems between you two, especially if you find he is still in contact with his affair partner/old girlfriend, or if he makes contact again down the road.

no chance of pg here, tubes tied since 16 yr old was born,,,, I figure if I do get pg,,,that it would REALLLLY be GOD's will :)
but I appreciate the cautionary advice, it does address my ??'s I guess part of my worry is that, even though I don't feel this way now,,, later will I feel used?

Has anyone else gone through this aspect?

The day I found out and confronted my wife I had gone to meet her at a resort where she was at a conference and I was driving an hour to be with her for a date night get away. I read the emails when I got there and learned what she had done with him. Big blow up, long talk, lots of crying, then I was going to go home, how could I stay. She not only wanted me to stay but we had lots of sex, then and for the next few days.

Biologically there is that element of wanted to clear the other man out of her, me regain my turf, her wanting me to replant myself in her since subconsciously she knew they were done.

So yes, lots of sex, then a time period where it was euphoric where it seemed we would fix everything and be better than new. I even wanted us to renew our vows at the one and two month mark. Then it became work on repairing. In our case, she still socially saw other men so in our case that was an element that probably would not be the case with you or others. So at that point I can't really use us as a comparison, except at the BS I thought we were FIXED. I wanted us fixed. I wanted the damage gone, the affair to go away, the hurt to be gone, for it all to be not only okay but better than it was.

No, I did not feel used.

I don't remember going through HB phase. I was the opposite. Instead of reclaiming him, I didnt want her dirty seconds, resented him for wanting her and have not had good sex with him since dday- years ago.

awww Need, I am sorry to hear that :(

I went through the HB, which was completely a surprise to me because I had never really had much "drive" for that, and after dday, I thought it would be months before I would even want to hold his hand, much less anything else. However, on the first night I moved back home (initially, I left home and didn't communicate with him at all for nearly a month), I was surprised that I felt myself wanting it, but I resisted the urge for 2 days. Then the HB lasted for a couple months. While that intensity doesn't last forever, I never felt bad about it afterward, and I don't think it is "fake". I think it's just that all emotions are intensified during that time, both good and bad, and in my case, I think it helped me to get through that "Is it really worth all this pain to work things out?" feeling. Take it as one shining bright spot to balance out all the less enjoyable things you are going through right now.

Kansasgirl, if he could hop out of bed with me in the morning and into bed with her within hours, how special could sex be between us? He took something very special to me and made it so cheap. Now he wants it to be good and special to me and for me to love him. What about when I thought being with him was the best thing in Earth now to know he was waiting to leave my bed because she was calling. Now he wants nothing to do with her, but that special feeling I had for 'us' is gone.

I didn't know it had a name, we went through that, lots of sex for months after dday. We are 9 months out and sex is still pretty regular, but not like it was. I do not feel used and it definitely bonded us together again. The first time after was strange, very emotional, very raw, we both felt it. After that it was great and we were like kids again, whenever we had the chance we were at it :) I say enjoy

kansasgirl - I totally did the same thing, and I remember wondering if I was crazy because wasn't I supposed to be madder than hell and want to beat his sorry ass rather than jump his bones? But that was the only thing I wanted to do in the world. I remember telling him that I wanted to be the one who made his toes curl... and I didn't take no for an answer (lol). Our sex life before dday was nothing special, pretty monotonous and passionless, but since then (although we don't do it every single day now) it really has become something that I don't want to take for granted and I enjoy more, and he enjoys it more with me. It's very different than before the A but in a good way, and although we're not in the hysterical bonding phase any more, I still get antsy if we go too many days between being together... I think that's both because I now enjoy it so much more, and also because not doing it reminds me of how it felt when he was with the OW and we hardly ever did it. Either way, I am NOT going back to the way things were! Hope that helps. :)

Oh darn. Had a long reply typed up and DS ate it. Can seem to get the text back. Oh well. The gist is that HB can last for a while. In my case, since my W started having sex everyday when the EA started back in Oct 2010, we've never quit. Seven months before dday and seven months after, we're still going strong. So if we had any HB, it is hard to tell when it began and when it ended. Or if it has ended.

But I did have sex on dday as well, for some of the same reasons. Her last time was with him and I didn't want that to be her last memory of sex for a while, I wanted to reclaim her for me, and i didn't want her to be any more tempted to go to the OM than she would already be. I feared withholding sex would cause her in her high libido state to seek him out just to be satisfied if I withheld for very long. And I used it to get her to recommit to me that I would be the only one, that her having sex with me meant that.

And if this becomes a double post because for some reason I'm just not seeing the first post, I apologize. I guess at least this second one is the cliff note version. :)