Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group

A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.

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mendingourlove 09/01/2016

My husband has nightmares about the A i had, and I don't know how to help him. He tells me sometimes what he dreamt and sometimes he keeps it to himself, but i know it hurts him even though its a just a dream. Some days we can go on with our day and somedays it makes for a bad day for us. Is there anything that helped for those days or to help get rid of those dreams? I try to be there for him and reassure him that i love him and that i will never hurt him like this again, but he has told me that when he is feeling upset those words are hollow to him. and it upsets him more sometimes. so im lost on how to try to help him when he has nightmares besides trying to stay positive....

StormPetrel 09/01/2016

I had horrible nightmares when my H was cheating and the nightmares continue years later.
I would even cry in my sleep. I did not know that was even possible.

My H would wake me up and hold me, try to comfort me. The fact that he cared helped a little.

I think you need to hug him and hold him. Keep telling him you are sorry. We BSs can never hear that enough.

I feel for for your H. Infidelity: the gift that keeps on giving . . . .

calirn13 09/16/2016

I agree with Storm.. You can never hear it enough

Stillpinkpony 09/18/2016

I feel like at those moments, just being present and there for him is all you can do.

When he's not in a bad state of mind, bring it up. Ask him to let you know how you can help him during those darkest moments.

When I would have my break downs, it helped to see that he too was in pain and hurt for me and expressed regret.

I know there were certain "mantras" he would repeat that didn't help. If he used his words without showing genuine emotion, it felt cold.

Stillpinkpony 09/18/2016

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