I am so excited right now to find a place where I feel like I belong, it has taken me three months to find this group. I found out my husband of 9 years was having an affair on January 2nd, and the worst part is-- he is still having it. He has moved in with his mistress, but everytime she is at work he is at our home helping me with our new house, our dogs, and telling me how much he loves me. I have become the other woman. Despite everything, I have decided to fight for my marriage. I am not condoning his actions, but I am also not walking away from the marriage, or closing our door. I am patient, working on myself and seeking individual counseling. The hardest part for me is how emotional I am-- crying over everything, days where I don't want to get out of bed and days where I question my self worth. This affair has shaken me to my core, shattered my heart and turned my life upside down. Part of me wishes he would just tell me he doesn't love me anymore and then it would be done, but a bigger part of me wants this to work-- but I can't force my husband back into our marriage either. I am excited that there is hope. I of course see hope in every embrace, every kiss, every hand squeeze and every heartfelt conversation he gives me. He isn't hiding his affair, answers my questions and is as honest as he can be-- but I admit you guys are probably reading my story appaled at what is going on, or perhaps my story isn't as crazy as I think. My husband has been to Iraq three times, and in the past year our lives has changed drastically- he is getting medboarded out of the military for his war injuries. He has night mares of people he could not save, and people he had to kill and he has lost his purpose in life. In November he started pushing everyone away, spending money a lot, and acting suicidal. He pushed me away and towards the end of December he found a friend that turned into more. I know it sounds like I am giving him excuses, but I do feel like his medical issues are a piece of this puzzle and I cannot turn my back on him when he needs me most. But I also cannot turn my back on myself when I need myself the most as well-- does that make sense? I am so ready to read your stories and learn how its like to be on the other side. Right now there is still hope in my marriage-- everyday is a new day with little positives that I cannot avoid. I cannot lie and say I hope to be on the other side of this experience one day saying no matter what the outcome, I gave it my all, I stayed true to my heart and I learned my biggest life lessons. Thanks for allowing me to join your group!

-Becca