Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
I don't know what to do. My husband and i had been having pretty good days even starting to feel a little normal at times, of course we have our rough days, but even thru that we have been able to sit and actually talk about issues that we need to work on or change, and still after the talks be able to have a good day. But yesterday afternoon we ordered food and went to pick it up and as he was getting the food he ran into the GF of the man i had an A with. We were friends in the past not close and very rarely talk now ,so my husband knows her as well. So when he came back to the car he was very upset and told me she asked about me. I could see he was upset so what i have learned and trying to do now is ask him if there is anything i could do to help him? he said no, and we didn't talk much the rest of the night, i went to bed early after putting our daughter to sleep. (didn't sleep much) In the morning my husband woke me up so we could workout and we exchanged our saying we have "stronger everyday" so we worked out not much talking just the minimum, and after i could see he was still upset and i asked if i could do anything? he told me he wants me to understand why he still feels that way, why it hurts so much. I do understand this is not going to go away anytime soon if ever, and as much as i want to completely understand what he is feeling i know i never will. I hate that i put him and keep putting him thru this pain. I want to help him in any way that i can I just don't know what to say that would help him.
So im asking for any advice or insight on How you handled or helped your partner after your you saw the other person from the A or the A's partner?
thank you for reading...
We strongly considered it but ultimately decided not to move because one of our kids became suicidal over the idea of changing everything. Instead, we changed schools to remove 95% of the chance of seeing them. My husband says this arrangement is what he wants.
Honestly, my husband has dealt with the aftermath better than most (i.e. he offers more grace and understanding than I would expect) and tends to see it as one thing in a very long relationship, but I apologize and listen when something triggers him. I also tend to keep my own triggers to myself.
I think it sounds like you are doing your best to listen and be empathetic.
We had a long talk the other night and it helped both of us get some feelings out. So I feel we are still on the right track moving forward even when it doesn't feel like it at times. I thank you all for taking time to read my post and sharing your experiences with me!