For those of you that are rebuilding, did you ever reach a point when you really felt loved again? I felt very loved and cared for during the first 11 years of our relationship.
Like so many others, my H distanced himself from me and was less nice to me over time after he started his affair.
Since the news of his long affair came out, I just don't feel loved. My H says he never stopped loving me, never wanted to leave me -- just got caught up in the ego stroke and the sex and the constant attention of the A.
I believe that he wants to stay, but I think it's more because he wants to minimize the after effects of the affair. He doesn't want the family to break up because that will make him feel even worse about what he did.
He just isn't kind and loving to me the way he used to be. When I talk to him about it, he says it's too hard for him to be nice to me when I am so sad or mad or whatever. He wants me to just pretend like nothing happened and then he will reward me with his kindness. It's classic passive agressive controlling, but it doesn't leave me feeling like he actually CARES about me, my feelings, my happiness.
How do you go on to truly feel loved again by someone who could choose to hurt you so badly?