Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
I was always had full commitment to my M and there was always this I know no matter what happens will we always be together feeling. That was before the affair and now I just do not seem to have that same way of thinking even though I want to I no longer think I ever will.
Being that it has only been a year and I still have a whole lot to work out in my own head I feel I am probably about where I need to be as far as working toward healed and in the right direction as far as a better marriage.
I sometimes question my how commited I am though? I have no desire to leave my wife, no desire to cheat or punish her, I still have a lot of pain and coldness in my heart and there are still a lot of times I question weather I made the right choice? Sometimes I still think that I should probably leave just because I don't want to deal with the worry all the time, because I don't know how long the uncertainty of ( Is she going to put me threw that again?)
will ever end.
Needless to say I am committed to our marriage and working threw all of this, just feel that the commitment has changed in reguards to I know that there are things that would push me to leave for sure now. That I will not work threw the rebuilding of my marriage more than once and if there is ever a hint of another affair I will surly leave her and move on.
So is it a lack of commitment on my part for being so unsure about the future?
Is it just consequences and growth to look at life and marriage in a different light threw all of the pain and knowing that there are just some things that are compleatly out of our control, that we really just can not see the future?
I may be married for the rest of my wife I may not that I don't know it depends on what happens in the future I guess, maybe I should of thought this way when I got married rather than just believing oh that will never happen so why worry about it.
I know that reguardless of what happens I will continue for now to work on myself and my M and I hope that it will get better and that I will think about the affair less as time goes on. I also know that regardless of what happens in my M I will always have a place in my heart for my wife.
Being that it has only been a year and I still have a whole lot to work out in my own head I feel I am probably about where I need to be as far as working toward healed and in the right direction as far as a better marriage.
I sometimes question my how commited I am though? I have no desire to leave my wife, no desire to cheat or punish her, I still have a lot of pain and coldness in my heart and there are still a lot of times I question weather I made the right choice? Sometimes I still think that I should probably leave just because I don't want to deal with the worry all the time, because I don't know how long the uncertainty of ( Is she going to put me threw that again?)
will ever end.
Needless to say I am committed to our marriage and working threw all of this, just feel that the commitment has changed in reguards to I know that there are things that would push me to leave for sure now. That I will not work threw the rebuilding of my marriage more than once and if there is ever a hint of another affair I will surly leave her and move on.
So is it a lack of commitment on my part for being so unsure about the future?
Is it just consequences and growth to look at life and marriage in a different light threw all of the pain and knowing that there are just some things that are compleatly out of our control, that we really just can not see the future?
I may be married for the rest of my wife I may not that I don't know it depends on what happens in the future I guess, maybe I should of thought this way when I got married rather than just believing oh that will never happen so why worry about it.
I know that reguardless of what happens I will continue for now to work on myself and my M and I hope that it will get better and that I will think about the affair less as time goes on. I also know that regardless of what happens in my M I will always have a place in my heart for my wife.
I just want you and everyone here on DS to know that you all have helped me tremindously in this process and I hope that I can help a few as you all have helped me.
Thanks so much Cole. (I also plan on getting your book after we get moved and have some extra money)
I really do want to read it and look forward to more of your writing.
Again thank you everyone for all of your help and support!!!
And, happy Thanksgiving, everyone.