Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group

A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.

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gettingintune 09/03/2015

our 15th anniversary is coming up at the end of this month.
prior to the Dday back in DEC 2014, I was planning on renewing vows....of course that idea went off the table

but now, as we are in a better place, and working toward reconciliation, I'm thinking.... why not? that was what i wanted to do.

why not renew..... yes, 9 months past dday might seem a little short....but I'm thinking...i am NOT going to let these events and this situation rule my life. I am going to live my life, the way I want to live my life "

am i crazy for thinking about this?

lisalisa72 09/03/2015

Sounds good to me! There have been others in this group that renewed vows in even less time and it worked out well. If you feel it, go for it!

blessed00 09/03/2015

Being someone who is considering vow renewal I don't think you are crazy. me and H are in our 6th month of reconciliation after a 4 year separation. If we are crazy then I would say I am crazier. Vow renewal to me is really significant and I thank God the my H also see it that way. I would say go for it.

Cole50 09/04/2015

It all depends on how you perceive she is doing and if you are comfortable with it. Gabi and I did a renewal one year after dday. I wouldn't have done it if I had any suspicions that she wasn't into rebuilding 100%. If it was in the first month or two, then I would be concerned, or if you had said she wasn't doing all she should.

If you're feeling comfortable with it, and it seems you are, I don't see any reason to not do it. May help her solidify her commitment as well.

Allora 09/04/2015

I think it would be very romantic - AND - a chance to really say what you mean this time around. I think the first time around, you only understand "in sickness and in health" (for example) from the perspective of "oh, sure, I'll bring my spouse tissue when flu season hits!" but who among us can truly understand the burden of sticking with a marriage through mental illness or a chronic condition? It's not until we've had to improvise a grocery list with $16 for the week that we understand the "poorer" side.

I think we all think we mean our vows when we first say them, but we KNOW to the core of our souls (one would hope!!) that we mean them after we have lived through the triumphs (and failures) of marriage over the course of time.

Blessings to you both - whatever you decide to do!

calirn13 09/10/2015

It would be nice to actually be proposed to properly and have a wedding... Yeah, I have a funny story ... But sometimes you just want someone to make you feel you are the most important person on this planet to them. They would marry you all over again if given a chance.

This one he will have to figure out on his own. I relinquish my duty as the "Cruise Director" for this idea... Will it happen, maybe, maybe not.

pinkpony66 09/15/2015

I have had this thought too. Personally I would suggest you consider letting a full year pass before you make this move. However if you both feel ready and confident that this is the right move at the right time, go for it!

pinkpony66 09/15/2015

Who ever imagined "for worse"could have been so horrible. Years of marriage do paint vows with a whole new brush. Poorer, sickness, and worse have hit many of our marriages since first taking those vows.

If we still want to be married after all of that, renewal seems like a good way to do it.

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