I've always told myself that when I was hurt or upset, then I was raped on November 22, 2011. I was hospitalized 10 days later, today it has been 1 year 2 months and 10 days exactly since my rape. I am lucky to be alive. It's hard to remember what happened and it always will be, but I now realized that it has made me stronger. The rape put my through a lot of physical and emotional pain. I am going to share what happened on that day so you need to be careful.

It was my first date that was planned to be a double date, It was a nice day so I decided to wear some skinny dark-wash capris,a dark green tank top,my dark denim jacket, and my black high top converse (I still have the outfit even though I don't wear it as much) It was a nice outfit for it to be a first date. I was picked up and brought to the bowling alley by my date(and attacker) Cody. There I met his friend (another one of my attackers) Josh. We hung out a bit before I asked where his date was he said she was running late and would be there in a bit.We played a game of bowling then I went to the restroom. When I got back Josh had gone outside and Cody had gotten me some food. I noticed when I sat down the look in his eyes, it scared me. The next thing I know Cody plants a rough kiss onto my lips. I pulled back and just stared at him, he had that look still. I decide to go outside only for him to follow yelling "You are gonna regret that!" I ran behind the building trying to hide, I did not like his attitude but then I tripped and fell. I turned around to see Cody and then Josh appeared out of nowhere with a pocket knife "You're gonna get it now" Cody said as Josh warned me to not move or holler, otherwise I'd get cut. Then he goes to hold me down and removes my jacket and shirt. I realized at that moment what was happening. I froze, shocked that someone I thought cared about me would dare to attack me like this. It all went by so quickly as Cody roughly removed my bottoms and left me on the ground pinned naked. He got on top of me then started to touch and tease me everywhere seeing if he could get any reaction out of me before he undid his belt and started to finger me. I closed my eyes only to be smacked. "I want to see your eyes, I want to watch your expressions as I go into you, I want to see your tears I want Josh to see all of this so he knows how to make you cry even more than I will." Then he stopped fingering me pulled out his dick and thrust into me halfway then with such force I yelped only to feel a slice on my arm. Cody was in so deep and he was going so fast. My body gave out I just lay there looking at him through teary eyes. I felt like I was going to die.
When Cody was done Josh was up only he flipped me around and went into my ass. After I was taken to a motel to clean up it was late when I got home and my parents were busy so they didn't notice the huge mark on my face from being slapped. I was worried that I would get pregnant thankfully I didn't.

I was hospitalized for cutting and depression afterward.
I don't want to forget what happened, but at the same time I do.
It's our weaknesses that make us strong, so I'd rather remember than forget.

Don't Judge
I feel everything all of you do, even though I channel it in a different direction