If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
I just woke up about half an hour ago and for some insane reason starting reliving being date raped when I was 16. I'm so sick to my stomach right now, I feel so dirty and nasty. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS STILL HAS SO MUCH POWER OVER MY LIFE! I'm laying in bed with an amazing man who would never hurt me who has given me love and a home and a future, he just wrapped his arms around me and laid his head on mine and all I can think of is waking up next to that son of a bitch who raped me.
I know I was only 16, I KNOW he drugged me despite what anyone says, I know it wasn't my fault. But oh my God I feel so guilty I feel like it was my fault. What the hell was I thinking even being at that party that night I didn't even know that guy.
I just hate laying here wondering what happened that night, if it was just him or if his friends helped him. I don't even know what everyone at the party thought when I fell over on the ground, they must have just assumed I was drunk. That was why I was too scared to go outside for months afterward, I thought everyone in the neighborhood was judging me as a drunk whore. I wish I had gone to the ER that morning and gotten that piece of *&#@ arrested and thrown into jail. I wish that bastard would just drop dead.
I'm sorry for rambling, I needed to vent this. Thanks for listening.