Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
I was raped but I can't talk about it. It upsets my husband even though it happened before we met. I can't talk about it with my family because it causes them sadness. I certainly can't talk to my children even my adult child. My friends squirm if I talk about it. When it happened they all tried to be there but no one could handle it. I sat in the court room trying to hold the person accountable and the only person there with me was a victim advocate support person because it was too much for my people to handle. I'm not complaining because I wanted to protect them too.
I feel ashamed and embarrassed because of the reaction that I get from everyone else. I am not embarrassed about the event and would be more than willing to talk about in a public forum but this would make people squirm all over again. Why?
If I was in an auto accident then I could talk about it all day. Why can't I tell my story without all the reaction? It's not like it didn't happen just because it's not talked about.
Does anyone else feel this frustration?
I feel ashamed and embarrassed because of the reaction that I get from everyone else. I am not embarrassed about the event and would be more than willing to talk about in a public forum but this would make people squirm all over again. Why?
If I was in an auto accident then I could talk about it all day. Why can't I tell my story without all the reaction? It's not like it didn't happen just because it's not talked about.
Does anyone else feel this frustration?
Maybe because it is too personal, or that...they don't know how to react in that kind of situation.
TMI?
I'll be intertested to see other replies....
From my knowledge and experience people think that rape is about the sex. And sex is supposed to be imitate, private and it is uncomfortable to discuss outside the bedroom. But we survivors know it is not about the sex. It is related to shame, fear, and even guilt.
What do you want your environment to know about what happened to you which I am so sorry for? You say, ""my story"", what do you want to tell them?
I for example want people to know about my rape story:
I am not crazy.
I did not ask for it , provoked it or deserved it.
My responses to the trauma are normal and natural
He was not really my boyfriend
The relationship was mutual between us, the rape was not.
I need empathy and a lot of love and respect to recover.
That's why I have learned to speak it with my therapist. I know that there I will not be hurt or hurt. And it is important to talk about it.
KAdunn, I totally agree that this is a societal problem and if I had been hit over the head with a hammer then people would be asking to hear the details.
What I mean by "my story" is that I work in an environment and frequently engage with rape survivors. I am the professional in the room at my work and on the one occasion that I mentioned my experience then I began to lose credibility as a professional. Certainly not fair but the reality...
So I work with rape survivors and no one knows my experience. I have wondered how many of my co-workers are rape survivors and what a shame it is that we have so much societal pressure to stay quiet.
There is so much ignorance in society and disbelief that it can happen to anyone and we should raise awareness as a society for everyone's sake.
Honestly, I brought up this issue because I am contemplating just being open and not caring if it makes people uncomfortable or better yet...start talking with them about their discomfort instead of sitting on mine.
You are the first person I would go to as a professional to talk about it because you know how it feels like. And not only that you are a strong voice for others who have been through the same.
If they are open to receive then maybe talking to all of them about how to communicate your experience on both sides is a good and a healthy thing.