my childhood, my dreams, my viginity, my hopes, trust, and lots more.

my network of friends, my trust (for a while) in men, my naivety, my relationship with my mum - or at least what I thought our relationship was, my childhood home (it's like a mausoleum now) - my first time, my enjoyment of sex, my enjoyment of being a woman (I hate that hungry look guys can get) and my peace.

For years after I got raped, I insisted that I didn't care about losing my virginity.

I hid all those hopes and dreams about it, that I had cultivated in my childhood, from myself. I pretended that it didn't matter.

In many ways, rape stole those years of my life after the rape. It stole my virginity at 14 and it stole the dreams I had about losing my V to someone who I loved and who loved me.

I don't believe these dreams and my V have to be gone forever. I have to hope that although some will argue that V is a physical thing--that it is a mindset that I can one day get back again.

People can't steal dreams, so I want mine back again.

my trust, my sanity, my dignity, my relationship, my future, my work, my safety, and my lightheartedness. Made life very heavy and i feel disgusted with many things now... looks from men, to me, other women... it makes my skin crawl and i feel angry.

My self respect, sleep, my smile, my trust, hope, I feel like an empty shell because of what he does to me