Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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What's the shell and the fear of coming out?

Brave
Brave
To All of My Friends!

I am having a hard time trying to understand the "Shell " and being
afraid of coming out of it! It's really hard to understand why an individual
would want to keep away from their loves one. I do know with depression
I would get like that, but what's the difference when it comes to being
rape?

Please Help Me Understand !

BRAVE/(Kim)
valgal18
valgal18
i'm not sure what a "shell" is, but i think i understand your question....i know for me i kept it away for my family and started isolating because i was ashamed.....i thought it was my fault......there were so many "what if" situations that i just felt so awful....i thought i was worhtless, disgusting, a piece of trash, unimportant....understand that when you're voice is taken away from you and you don't get the respect that you deserve, you feel powerless.....i mean, my family couldn't know that i was powerless in that situation.....and we don't want people to know that we were in that situation.....we may not tell becasue we don't realize it rape, we blame ourselves, we deny it or we can't belive it happened to us and are in shock....i hoep this answered your question...if ou have any more, let me know
deleted_user
deleted_user
Valgal18 !

My partner use to be comfortable with me, and now it's like all that
matters is him and being in his shell! I've never done one thing to
hurt him in anyway, but I keep getting mixed feelings from him.

I greatly appreciate the help !

BRAVE
Krissanta
Krissanta
It's me again, Brave Kim. I will try not to say too much.

For me it is not a shell. What I have built between me and people who care for me is a great big wall. I have built a turret around me. A strong fortress to hide behind. You asked, why? I built my fortress because I didn't want another person to hurt me. I did not want a another single person to lay a finger on me.

So, you might be thinking, why do you think you need protection from people who care about you? People who care about you are just as likely to hurt you as anyone else. For me, I needed that wall because the people I thought loved me hurt me worse than my rapist because they said horrible things to me. People I thought would help me called me a liar; which in my mind means they think I'm a slut. Just the thought of being called a liar by some one I thought would help me makes me happy to keep that wall up.

It's protection.