I think we've all probably been there, I know I've constructed so many 'what if' scenarios in my head and tried to figure out what I'd do to get out of danger (usually the fantasy involves me being able to bring the guy to the floor with a perfect martial arts kick lol - but I know in reality it's never going to be like that.)

And yes, I've also got a few ideas about how I'd like to deal with the sexual harassment I get in my area as well - but in real life no-one ever has the perfect come-back ready at the time, often the best policy with those types is simply to walk away with as much dignity as you can muster, and give them as little attention as possible. With the sex pests, mostly what they're looking for is some kind of reaction out of you - any reaction at all is better than no attention. Think of it as like taming an unruly child or a dog, you do that by withdrawing your attention from them till they learn to behave ;)

For now, don't feel bad about the 'freeze' response, it's a natural reaction - you've been 'taught' in a brutal way that the word 'no' doesn't count for anything, at least not with certain men. Over time, you'll learn to feel safer again and stop 'freezing' as you spend more time around people who understand about respect. My ex-husband didn't really get much of a look-in till I'd spent a lot of time around him, and seen for myself that he could come home with me for *just* a coffee and not try to push for anything more.

As for the chances of it happening again, well none of us can guarantee that it won't happen. All that I am certain about is there is a certain type of scum who feeds off peoples' fear, so often your best defence is to try not to give those types the satisfaction.

I can remember when it happened to me, I was just like you were. However I made the mistake of going back to the place a month later and it did happen again. A couple weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I felt even worse!
Sometimes I still feel like it can happen again. Like every corner I turn, there he'll stand. But it's been two years and I've only seen him 3 times. So I feel very blessed.

Freezing up is a very normal reaction to sexual assault/rape. There is nothing wrong with you for that, and if you have that freezing up instinct, you still have no responsibility for the assault. A crime of rape only belongs to the rapist.
What you are feeling and thinking is very normal. Unfortunately, there are a few people that keep getting affected by this crime. But statistically, you are safer.

Can I offer a difficult but honest answer?

Statistically, I'm afraid that the chances of revictimization are slightly increased high among rape victims.

Now, before you panic, let me explain WHY this is, so you can feel hope that there are good ways to REDUCE that risk.

Ironically, women (and men too) who have been traumatized by an intimate, personal form of attack (rape, domestic violence, sexual abuse) may actually lose (or impair) their "radar" ability to spot dangerous men. For example, the number one predictor that a female will become involved in a violent relationship isn't whether her mother was abused, but whether she herself was SEXUALLY abused! Ironic, huh? But the reasons make sense: part of her method of coping with the trauma is to dissociate, unplug, and disable her radar sense for danger so she's not overwhelmed by constant panic. While this may suit her in the short term, it also renders her less protected when predators come around again, acting like prince charming. (listen to the hard-rock Henry Rollins song "Liar" for a good example)

The second reason for the higher rate of re-victimization is that many trauma victims, sadly, lose their own sense of being worthy of healthy, nurturing love. By feeling damaged and defective, they can also feel they have no right to demand a better response from partners, as if she is lucky to have a companion at all because, after all, she sees herself as "damaged goods." It's hard to seek respectful relationships when one feels undeserving of respect! So the tolerance for unhealthy partners brings with it a vulnerability to further abuse.

So what do we do?

I'd like to suggest two books.

The first is Gavin Debecker's book "The Gift of Fear." This book (featured on Oprah) addresses the first risk: the disabled "radar/alarm" for danger. It helps you re-activate your accurate recognition of risk and deceit.

The second is the "How to Spot a Dangerous Man" book and workbook by Sandra Allen (I think that's her name). It's superb! It addresses the second risk.

By re-arming yourself in these two ways, the risk of being harmed again drops dramatically, and you may even become LESS vulnerable than another non-victimized woman to being re-assaulted.

The date rape i should have seen coming. When my bf hurt me and used me i just put up with it. When my folks kicked me out, i was raped twice in one week by the men i thought i could trust. I have never really had a stranger rape happen to me. But my friends, well let's just say i don't choose them well. I freeze too. Still do. Dissociation is quite common too. I have noticed one thing. If you don't go anywhere or meet anyone then no one can hurt you. But that isn't healthy either. I wish i could be more positive, but you see 4 for me.