I’m trying everything I can, but the hardest thing is the physical responses daily and itching and burning from hpv I got from my rapist just over 4 months ago. How can I deal with this? Will I be able to deal with this? Is what’s running through my mind constantly and so are the intrusive thoughts constantly and I don’t feel like I can do this. I’ve made it this long to stay alive for my beautiful children but it feels like my life’s taken and body stolen from me and I can’t even function. Can’t even make it to the shop without balling my eyes out and I don’t know how I can keep going anymore. I have some hope that maybe the itching will go in a year or maybe it will be better in a few months but I don’t know when I will be better or if I ever will be ok even and I’m worried about what I might do to myself. I want to be strong for my kids but also feel such an intense feeling of just dying and wanting to die. I already feel dead some days. I told my psych this and then she booked me an appt for 5 weeks time? 5 weeks? Wtf I seriously can’t even cope one day let alone waiting and trying to live 5 weeks till my next psychology appt. what else can I do? I feel like I’ve lost my life? I’ve looked into maybe doing hypnosis? A psychic healer? I don’t know maybe that’s silly I don’t know how to go on like this I’m a mess and never been so lost my whole life. I was a good mum before and had a good life and now I can’t even be present and in the moment and live for my beautiful kids :(;(;(;(