hi brave...how are you...my name is angel and im a survivor of rape...how long have you and your boyfriend been together?...i will tell you this sweetie...once a person has been raped there whole identity is different...they are not the same person.....im sure he loves you...and loves you very much...he had to because he told about what happen to him...maybe talk to him...which you said you already have...but ask do he like to held...when gets afraid of something doesnt he like to know that you will be there to hold im when he wants to be held...when hes scared...or just when he wants some affetcion...just remember that he has been through a lot..and you have to be patient with him...he has to be patient with you to as well...because your lacking something from him...so he has to give a little...because your taking a little from him...its a give and take thing...if you understand what im saying...just continue to do and be all that you have towards him...everything will pay off..its going to be alright okay...when ever you want ot talk or anything just send me a message and your more than welcome to read my profile ok...talk to you soon...love angel

hello.......i think the reason that your boyfriend is putting this cover between you is becasue he was raped at a very young age.....therapy is always a step in the right direction and it's good that he's doing it.....i think right now he needs your support....i understand your need and want of being held and loved and understand he WILL get there, just give him time.....in the meantime you can ask him to maybe hold hands.....slowly introducing him to loving gestures may work, but understand he may need time.....being raped is not something you ever forget and a lot of the time we get flashbacks wi=hich are often like we're re-living the expereince or body memories, where we feel sensations on our bodies and they remind us of our rape.....just be mindful of him and his feelings......if you ever wanna talk, i'm here

Kim,
I want to tell you how I REALLY fell in love with my husband. We had been dating for a few weeks and I knew I was feeling something for him. But I was very afraid. He was very sweet, but young people being the way they are, he started to try to get more and more from me than just kissing. I was so nervous, constantly worrying between trusting him with my story or walking away from what felt like love.

Finally I decided to take a chance on him because I could feel something between us. He made me feel so safe and loved. I was afraid that once he knew about the rape, he would think I was just a slut who didn't deserve to respect or love. I told him about the rape and he seemed to melt. I told him I needed time and space to get comfortable with the idea of sex. He gave me his word to hold back and take things slow and give me whatever I needed.

He was better than his word. He waited for me to show I was ready for a deeper kiss, a gentle touch, to be held and finally to have sex. Because he believed in me and my need, I fell in love with him. Little by little, every time he held back when I could feel he wanted so much more, I fell in love. Through his behavior, I knew I could trust in him. Then little by little, I was able to give back.

What I'm getting at is, he gave you something very important of himself. I think he needs you to understand that he is not trying to hurt you by not fufilling your physical needs. He told you why he is this way and needs your understanding of why he is behaving this way. He probably needs some time, understanding and love. You need to remember that this barrier he feels he needs to make with blankets is not personal. It is important to him in order to feel safe. And after some time he will grow to feel safe with you without the barrier or with some other self soothing behavior like needing to hold you in order to soothe any lingering fear.

I think I'm sounding really mean. But in cases like this, the victim's needs are very important. But if you work with him, I think you will see and feel that the rewards are well worth it. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings at all. It was very difficult to explain.