Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
And I have finally taken the mask off. I don't like what I see yet. I had always been that girl that laughed a bit too much at a joke or had the one drink too many was up for anything and happy to do whatever anyone else wanted. Now I want my self respect. I've removed the good time girl mask and all that's is left is the shell of what I was ''before'' however being only a young girl when it started, leaves only a young scared child standing in front of me now in the mirror.
Diagnosed left right and centre with this that and the other it's hard sometimes to tell who you are beyond the medication and the theories of why. Bi-polar, borderline personality disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety? Or maybe just normal with a touch of bad luck.
People have a hard time believing me, even when it is friends and family. It can sometimes make you feel like you made the whole thing up or that maybe your somehow wrong. I'm new to DS and my mum didn't believe the things that had happened to me and now she has passed away. Sometimes I feel like I didn't get the chance to prove yourself innocent and it somehow makes me feel like I am not. Recently my partner has told me that I need to ''sort your sh*t out because your running out of time'' with regards to our relationship.
I don't think people can grasp exactly what it is that rape can do to a persons mental health, even if it is years down the line and we decide to finally stop running from our fears.
Men and women alike are so strong and we can overcome so many things but sometimes we need each others support, this forum looks like a fantastic place to learn more about myself and others in this situation.
I'm having a bit of a blurry day and I'm not sure if what I wrote makes much sense but I hope you are all having a 'good' day today and I'll see you on the discussion pages =]
Diagnosed left right and centre with this that and the other it's hard sometimes to tell who you are beyond the medication and the theories of why. Bi-polar, borderline personality disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety? Or maybe just normal with a touch of bad luck.
People have a hard time believing me, even when it is friends and family. It can sometimes make you feel like you made the whole thing up or that maybe your somehow wrong. I'm new to DS and my mum didn't believe the things that had happened to me and now she has passed away. Sometimes I feel like I didn't get the chance to prove yourself innocent and it somehow makes me feel like I am not. Recently my partner has told me that I need to ''sort your sh*t out because your running out of time'' with regards to our relationship.
I don't think people can grasp exactly what it is that rape can do to a persons mental health, even if it is years down the line and we decide to finally stop running from our fears.
Men and women alike are so strong and we can overcome so many things but sometimes we need each others support, this forum looks like a fantastic place to learn more about myself and others in this situation.
I'm having a bit of a blurry day and I'm not sure if what I wrote makes much sense but I hope you are all having a 'good' day today and I'll see you on the discussion pages =]
Your post made perfect sense so no worries. I completely understand the mask. I mean everyone, even people who weren't traumatized, wear them. But I do think they take on a life of their own for those of us who have experienced major trauma. I let my mask of absolute independence and "strength" (not real strength, just what I thought of as strength at the time) rule my life for a very long time. It caused a lot of difficulties in my close relationships, not at work however.
I understand having a multitude of diagnoses as well. I started off with depression and ptsd. Now it's bipolar, ptsd and gad. Plus a handful of physical ailments like rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia, both of which I'm fairly certain were exacerbated by my traumas. It definitely confuses your self-identity even under the best of circumstances. It took me a long while to re-discover myself. I had to go back to the beginning. The most important question I asked myself was, "When was I the happiest and most at peace in life?"
I wish you strength and perseverance on your journey of healing and self-discovery.